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1,682 miles in a 2014 Audi A8 L TDI - Part 1

We're going to skip the joke - because this isn't one - and get straight to the punchline: If the forthcoming 2014 Mercedes-Benz S-Class looks like it will lead the segment in interiors, the 3.0-liter turbodiesel in the 2014 Audi A8 L TDI takes the head of the table when it comes to engines.
After joining Audi for the 12 Hours of Sebring, we stood in the parking lot of The Inn On The Lakes on Sunday morning, our thousand-yard stare interrupted by the Citgo gas station across the street. We had one key, three bags, one white A8 L TDI, something like 17 gallons of diesel in the tank and one week to burn through it. For the purposes of a Quick Spin, we could have simply traipsed around the central Florida outback, all citrus, dusty scrubland and diners lifted from Cronenberg films, made short work of measuring the refinement and potential rarefaction of the oil burner under the hood and made our way back to the Orlando airport.
But dear readers, where would the adventure be in that?

Audi will offer A3 TDI owners same goodwill package

Audi will offer a Goodwill Package, similar to the one Volkswagen has offered owners, for the German brand's emissions-cheating diesel four-cylinder engine. Participating customers will receive a $500 prepaid Visa, a $500 gift card for Audi dealers, and three years of 24-hour roadside assistance. "We are offering this Audi A3 TDI Goodwill Package as a sincere token of our appreciation for your patience," the company wrote on its customer website. This offer will only extend to the A3 TDI. A second EPA violation covers an estimated 85,000 vehicles in the US with VW's Group's 3.0-liter TDI V6 like the 2016 A6, A7, A8 and Q5, and the models are also under a stop sale. However, these owners aren't eligible for the Goodwill Package at this time. "Audi is currently investigating the allegations" against the six-cylinder engines, according to the explanation on the site's FAQ. Owners need to register their VIN on the company's website to apply for the Goodwill Package. They'll receive the items in the mail around four weeks later, but will then need to take the affected vehicle and the package to the dealer to activate the cards. Like the VW program, people have until April 30, 2016, to apply for the offer. VW Group of America CEO Michael Horn said last week around 120,000 people already registered for the brand's Goodwill Package. Related Video:

Audi S3 Sedan boasts SAE 296 hp, 0-60 in 4.7 seconds

The (technically speaking) 2015 Audi S3 sedan should start at right near $39,000.
The last time Audi gifted the world with a small sport sedan was way back when the A4 wasn't an entry-luxury executive car costing relative gads of dough, so maybe since the mid-1990s. In a company decision reversal, we're now officially getting the new A3 Sportback starting later this year, but that's a five-door hatch and not a big volume attraction for markets like the United States. And there's no guarantee we'll get the S3 Sportback version yet. So, what to do?