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24 Hours of Le Mans live update part one

We tasked surfing journalist Rory Parker to watch this year's live stream of the 2016 24 Hours of Le Mans. What follows is an experiment to experience the world's greatest endurance race from the perspective of a motorsports novice with a profanity-laden stream-of-consciousness writing style. Parker lives in Hawaii and spends far more time spearfishing than behind the wheel of a car. Jump ahead to Part Two here, and Part Three here. Big Money and billionaire hobbyists and rockets on wheels. Jets belching French color smoke overhead. Balance of power fuckery. Plenty of water on the ground this morning. Absurdly expensive motorcars lined up in the pissing rain. Fast twitch lunatics behind the wheel. Chomping at the bit. Let's go let's go let's go! Race hasn't even started, Ford #67 maybe dealing with clutch issues. Karma? That beautiful bastard Brad Pitt's out on the track, waving the tricolor flag. It's a standing start in "Noah's Ark" weather and the 2016 24 hours of Le Mans is go! First lap takes place behind the safety car, finished in a record setting 8 minutes 27 seconds. Wrong kind of record maybe, but this is the first time I've set my mind to watching the whole damn race. Feel like I'm part of history. 3:00 AM on Kauai, a little too early for life. Sucking down coffee like a maniac. Don't fall back asleep. Got my hands on four hours of rest, how much more can I need? Better be enough for the next twenty four hours. Gonna get kinda punchy toward the end. Jason Statham on the scene. Four feet of solid muscle, non-existent hairline. Lovely wife peanut gallery sitting next to me calls him the "best race car drive in the world." Not sure if she's serious. Toss up, could go either way. Statham's a funny guy. Heir to the Bruce Willis comedy action crown. Really good in the movie where the fat comedy lady plays a spy. Ford's on the road. Problems with gearbox pressure, apparently. Nearing a half hour in and the safety car is still on the track. Hellish amounts of water on the ground, in the air. Visibility is garbage. Getting better. Twitter wags, "Not with a bang but a whimper." Just building suspense. Mother Nature felt like killing some people today, race officials need to dial back the drivers until it dries a tad. Normal inclination would've seen 'em flying, guaranteed early lap wrecks. Sad news for that bloodthirsty part of my lizard brain I try and keep suppressed. Good news for humanity. #12 in the pit for a bit.

Audi RS5 gets big turbocharged power and an angry new look

Menace has always been one of the keys to Audi's RS 5 coupe, from the fat wheel arches to the rumbling evocative exhaust note to the brutal straight-line performance. That's not going to change with the new version, but Audi is talking loudly and proudly about how the RS 5 debuts the new RS design language, partly in the hope that people don't labor on the disappearance of its V8 engine. Yes, the all-new RS 5 Coupe uses the same Porsche-engineered biturbo V6 as the Porsche Panamera, and uses it to such effect that it extracts 444 horsepower and 443 pound feet of torque from its 2.9 liters of displacement. Those 443 lb-ft is a full 125 more than the V8 could ever muster, and it's available from 1,900 rpm to 5,000 rpm. That kind of power is sufficient to push the RS 5 to 62 miles per hour in 3.9 seconds on the way to a limited 155-mph top speed (there's an optional 174-mph limiter, too). The all-wheel-drive Quattro RS 5 Coupe doesn't suffer much in performance in the switch from the naturally aspirated 4.2-liter V8 to the force feeding of a V6, but it remains to be proven whether the sound can be as captivating. The Porsche-sourced engine continues the current trend of "hot vee" engines, situating both of its turbochargers inside the vee-angle of the engine, and combines centrally-mounted direct fuel injectors with a short stroke to boost power and improve economy. The high-compression Miller-cycle motor also lets the RS 5 Coupe pull its consumption down 17 percent to 32 miles per gallon (or 197 grams/km of CO2 emissions) on the European driving cycle. Expect US mileage numbers to be significantly lower. The new RS 5 is also significantly lighter, pulling 132 pounds from the previous V8-powered model's mass, despite all the turbo plumbing, to weigh 3,649 pounds. A BMW M4-style carbon-fiber roof helps keep the weight down. Audi feeds its newfound V6 power through an eight-speed automatic transmission and permanent all-wheel drive, with 60 percent of the drive nominally headed to the rear end. The hard-turning sport differential is an option. Audi's reborn RS 5 rides on five-link suspension systems at both ends to keep suspension bits precisely location and improve ride quality, while sitting 0.8 inches lower than the standard A5 Coupe. It has the usual Audi Sport array of go-faster options for its go-fastest front-engined coupe, including the more aggressive Dynamic Ride Control damping system, carbon-ceramic brakes and sharper steering ratios.

Genesis cars win accolades, offer value — so why are sales so bad?

My high-school buddy Brent Cormier was so smitten with the Genesis G80 when he saw it at an event I hosted at SXSW in 2016 he bought a used 2013 Hyundai Genesis a short time later and fell in love with the car. "It surpasses my every expectation," said Cormier, a self-described "renaissance man" who owns and runs a real estate agency with his wife Laura, is a food service executive chef and part owner of Austin-based Thin the Herd Guitars. "I was locked into Mercedes and Audi for 10 years," he added. "And felt trapped in an endless pit of maintenance costs." After owning the Genesis over the past two years — including using it as an Uber and Lyft driver to earn extra cash — Cormier learned what some frugal luxury sedan buyers and a handful of car reviewers have discovered: Genesis offers great bang for the buck compared to other premium brands and can compete with the best in terms of performance, features and comfort. Hyundai's luxury brand also earned a prominent third-party endorsement last week when for the first time Genesis topped J.D. Power's 2018 APEAL study, surpassing German luxury-performance icon Porsche. The APEAL study (which stands for Automotive Performance, Execution and Layout) "measures owners' emotional attachment and level of excitement across 77 attributes," ranging from performance to comfort, and asks nearly 68,000 owners of new 2018 models to score vehicles on a 1,000-point scale. In its second year ranked as a stand-alone brand, Genesis earned an APEAL score that bumped it up 15 points to 884 and helped push it past Porsche — and past BMW, Lincoln, Mercedes-Benz, Audi, Volvo, Cadillac, Land Rover and Lexus, in order of ranking. Last month, Genesis also topped J.D. Power's Initial Quality Survey (IQS) for the first time this year. And both its models were awarded Top Safety Pick Plus ratings by the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety, among 11 Plus ratings in all for Korean vehicles. Despite high J.D. Power rankings and great reviews, Genesis U.S. sales were off 50 percent for the first six months of 2018 compared to 2017, and in June Genesis sold only 796 vehicles — the first time U.S. numbers dropped below 1,000 in a month. Part of Genesis's APEAL and IQS success can be attributed to its small product lineup: just two models, the G80 and G90 sedans, with a third, the 2019 G70, launching later this year. And while those numbers may help in J.D.