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24 Hours of Le Mans live update part one

We tasked surfing journalist Rory Parker to watch this year's live stream of the 2016 24 Hours of Le Mans. What follows is an experiment to experience the world's greatest endurance race from the perspective of a motorsports novice with a profanity-laden stream-of-consciousness writing style. Parker lives in Hawaii and spends far more time spearfishing than behind the wheel of a car. Jump ahead to Part Two here, and Part Three here. Big Money and billionaire hobbyists and rockets on wheels. Jets belching French color smoke overhead. Balance of power fuckery. Plenty of water on the ground this morning. Absurdly expensive motorcars lined up in the pissing rain. Fast twitch lunatics behind the wheel. Chomping at the bit. Let's go let's go let's go! Race hasn't even started, Ford #67 maybe dealing with clutch issues. Karma? That beautiful bastard Brad Pitt's out on the track, waving the tricolor flag. It's a standing start in "Noah's Ark" weather and the 2016 24 hours of Le Mans is go! First lap takes place behind the safety car, finished in a record setting 8 minutes 27 seconds. Wrong kind of record maybe, but this is the first time I've set my mind to watching the whole damn race. Feel like I'm part of history. 3:00 AM on Kauai, a little too early for life. Sucking down coffee like a maniac. Don't fall back asleep. Got my hands on four hours of rest, how much more can I need? Better be enough for the next twenty four hours. Gonna get kinda punchy toward the end. Jason Statham on the scene. Four feet of solid muscle, non-existent hairline. Lovely wife peanut gallery sitting next to me calls him the "best race car drive in the world." Not sure if she's serious. Toss up, could go either way. Statham's a funny guy. Heir to the Bruce Willis comedy action crown. Really good in the movie where the fat comedy lady plays a spy. Ford's on the road. Problems with gearbox pressure, apparently. Nearing a half hour in and the safety car is still on the track. Hellish amounts of water on the ground, in the air. Visibility is garbage. Getting better. Twitter wags, "Not with a bang but a whimper." Just building suspense. Mother Nature felt like killing some people today, race officials need to dial back the drivers until it dries a tad. Normal inclination would've seen 'em flying, guaranteed early lap wrecks. Sad news for that bloodthirsty part of my lizard brain I try and keep suppressed. Good news for humanity. #12 in the pit for a bit.

New Transporter 4 Refueled prequel trailer comes with new lead, new Audi S8

Frank Martin returns in a new installment of the franchise that helped make Jason Statham that guy, this one called Transporter 4: Refueled. But ugh, what's happened to all the decent car movies? The problem here isn't that Statham left this series to play the baddie in Fast & Furious 7, but that the trailer makes it appear the director just combined the unused footage from a rap video and a Michael Bay movie, only forgot to include any rappers or input from Michael Bay. The trailer gives no clue as to what the movie's about, but it's not like we don't know – actor Ed Skrein has to take something somewhere while people try to kill him. Skrein does his best (we assume) to fill Statham's large shoes, helped and hindered by the entire line-up of Sports Illustrated's swimsuit issue, a second reserve alternate Bond villain, gigatons of CGI, and more fireballs than the Milky Way. Oh, and this is a prequel to the series, so just like you did with Darth Maul's double-sided light saber, ignore the extreme newness of Skrein's current generation Audi S8. Related Video:

Audi Q7 E-Tron Quattro TDI Quick Spin

The operating word is quiet. This refers both to the sound inside the cabin of the upcoming Audi Q7 E-Tron Quattro TDI – even with the diesel engine running – and the company's public statements about its plan for this powertrain in the United States. Basically, while Europe is getting the diesel plug-in sometime next spring (a bit of a delay), all we know for sure right now is that the US will be getting the Q7 E-Tron, probably in 2018, and it will have either a 3.0-liter turbodiesel or 2.0-liter turbocharged gas engine. You may now place your bets as to which one you think the public (or, more likely, CARB) will go for. We're guessing 2.0T. Despite not knowing if we'll ever see this E-Tron TDI on our side of the Atlantic, we recently spent an enjoyable morning tooling around the hills outside Madrid, Spain. As we said, this beast is seriously quiet, and impressively so. Driving Notes The Q7 is a big vehicle, but with powertrain that combines electric motors and diesel thrust, there's a ton of low-end torque. The official 0-62 time is 6.0 seconds, which is basically the same as the 6.1 seconds of the non-PHEV Q7. The Q7 E-Tron is about 500 pounds heavier than the already-4,700-pound Q7, but because of its trick powertrain, never felt sluggish in the hills of Spain. This Q7 E-Tron is a parallel hybrid, with the 3.0-liter TDI diesel engine and the 94-kW disc motor both able to drive the wheels. Overall, they provide 373 horsepower and 516 pound-feet of torque. Despite the parallel system, the not-quite-powerful-enough electric motor doesn't provide the complete electric drive experience that EV fans might be looking for. For example, the Q7 E-Tron has a top speed of 139.8 mph, but that's only in hybrid mode. In EV mode, its top speed is just 78 mph. Audi's Virtual Cockpit display, first seen in the TT, remains an ideal way to give you a wealth of information in an easy-to-see format. It's just as slick in the Q7, where you can toggle the size of the gauges and then pick what you want the screen to focus on, whether that's speed limits, infotainment information, powertrain usage, speed, or navigation.