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2013 Audi RS Q3

The year 1994 was a really good year for German performance fans, because it was that year when Audi released its very first official RS model (for "RennSport," or racing sport), the RS2 Avant. Recently, I was invited to participate in a three-day leg of the Audi Land of Quattro Alpen Tour, a blatant flaunting over hill and dale of the company's current lineup of RS models. We hit Austria, Switzerland and Italy - the roads were epic and the weather held for this exquisite boondoggle.
Our chief focus on this tour, which included the RS6 Avant and RS7, was the newcomer RS Q3 small crossover that will absolutely never be coming to North America, but which starts deliveries in November of this year. This no-North America policy is because we still don't have enough customers who see the thrill or sense in a $52,000 all-wheel-drive baby sport utility that gets to 60 miles per hour from a stop in under five seconds. Meanwhile, in crazy, drunken Europe, orders for this ridiculous, wondrous set of wheels have, to quote Quattro head of technical development Stephan Reil, "far outstripped the limited production numbers of the business case." Those silly Europeans, don't they know that an RS Q3 makes no sense at all? Sheesh.

Don't hold your breath for an Audi RS8

There was a time not so long ago when Quattro GmbH produced essentially one model at a time. But that time is behind us. These days it's expanding into a full-fledged performance division to rival Mercedes-AMG and BMW's M department. Quattro GmbH is currently building the Audi RS4 Avant, RS5 coupe and cabrio, RS6 Avant, RS7, RS Q3 and the TT RS coupe and roadster - not to mention the R8. And while it's showing no signs of slowing down, but the latest intel from across the pond suggests we shouldn't count on an RS version of Audi's flagship sedan.
This according to Car and Driver, which spoke to Stephan Reil, the chief engineer at Quattro GmbH. Reil says Audi works on a teutonically rigid performance formula: an RS model has to have 20 to 25 percent more power than the existing S version. Considering that the existing S8 makes 512 horsepower and the RS7 a solid 553, we're not sure Audi really needs anything more powerful. But by Reil's calculations, the RS8 would need to pack between 630 and 655 hp, which would put it well ahead of rivals like the 550-hp Jaguar XJR, the 540-hp BMW Alpina B7, the 523-hp Maserati Quattroporte and even the new 577-hp Mercedes-Benz S63 AMG - and in league only with the even more powerful S65 AMG, which in its outgoing form produced 630 hp.
The question then comes down to whether there are enough customers lining up for the S65 that Audi would want to poach away from Mercedes. Or perhaps more pertinently, whether it might end up just taking customers from the new Bentley Flying Spur, which is already offering 616 horsepower in an even more prestigious, if less performance-focused package. Either way you look at it, Audi is apparently steering clear.

Audi revisits Ahab on desert island paradise in new ad

Well, call us Ishmael. Long ago (okay, about eight months), Audi debuted an ad during the NFL playoffs called "Ahab." It showed a salty tow truck driver and his years of catches. During that time, one particular car eluded and haunted him - a white Audi A6, whose Quattro all-wheel-drive system had no issues with the inclement conditions.
Now, there's a sequel that has Ahab, not dead and not missing any legs, on a tropical island. What he doesn't realize, though, is that the white whale (which, Audi, if you're going to associate an animal with a luxury sedan, a whale isn't the best choice) has followed him. Take a look at chuckle-worthy spot below, and then click over and see the spot that started it all from back in January.