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Automotive April Fools' joke roundup [w/videos]

Happy April, everyone. And we all know what this first day of the month means: April Fools' Day. Today is a national holiday for pranksters with the Internet acting as a serious enabler, and it's always fun to see what kind of vivid imaginations exist out there in the automotive world. The abundance of fake news gets a little old as the day rolls on, but we did manage to get in a few chuckles thanks to a handful of major automakers and automotive news outlets that got into the pranking spirit this year
Some of our favorites this year includes Subaru showing what happens when you combine a bunch of rumors, a Corvette some may have already thought was a joke or Honda providing some in-car innovation circa the late 1980s. Honestly, we're still waiting for official confirmation from Mitsubishi that the recently introduced 2014 Mirage is an elaborate April Fools' joke using a failed design intended for the 1995 Geo Metro. We dug up as much "official" OEM foolishness we could find, as well as some of our other favorites, and posted them all below.

Volvo details upcoming XC90's new scalable platform

In two weeks' time, we'll be boarding a flight for Stockholm for the live reveal of the new Volvo XC90. But before we do, Volvo has revealed another round of salient details regarding not only its new crossover, but a whole range of new vehicles to share its architecture.
That platform is called Scalable Product Architecture, and it follows the latest industry trend towards modular platforms. The product of four years' development, the new platform uses high-strength boron steel to optimize weight and rigidity. The scalable architecture, set to underpin the next-generation S60, V60, XC60, S80 and anything larger, offers designers more flexibility in terms of proportions. It can be adapted to a wide range of vehicles of different shapes and sizes, designed from the get-go to incorporate a range of powertrains (including the XC90's new twin-charged hybrid system) and all the latest safety technologies you'd expect from a Volvo.
The XC90, Volvo has revealed, will also offer increased interior flexibility, with movable second and third rows to optimize cargo space and legroom as needed. That third row is designed to accommodate children (or small adults) up to five-foot-seven. Meanwhile the image inset above gives us our first glimpse at the new XC90's styling, with T-shaped running lights inspired by Thor's hammer.

Volvo returns to profitability

Ford sold Volvo to Zhejiang Geely Holding Group Limited in 2010. Just two years later, Geely announced an $11-billion investment in the Swedish carmaker, its charismatic fugleman Li Shifu saying, "We want to revive Volvo and give the brand its strength back." Two years later, after having introduced the Concept XC Coupe at the Detroit Auto Show this week, Volvo CEO Håkan Samuelsson (above, second from right) declared the company profitable again after a solid 2013 and predicted a positive 2014.
Intending to break even on operating profit in 2013, Volvo exceeded expectations and landed on the plus side due to a mix of factors. US sales declined 10.1 percent for the year to 61,233, that number still making us Volvo's largest market, but Chinese sales were up nearly 46 percent to 61,146 units, and even its home market saw a bump of 0.8 percent; total sales for the year were 427,840, a margin of 1.4-percent over the previous year. Volvo was able to do more with the tiny gain and reverse its half-year operating loss because of a global cost restructuring and thorough revamp of its Chinese distribution network. An announcement of 2013's financial results will come in March.
Bullishness on 2014 comes from the company's intention to focus on its two biggest markets with new models, new technology and more spending. The first product of an independent Volvo, the new XC90, will be revealed later this year on the new SPA architecture. On top of the Sensus Connect infotainment system, Volvo will add driver-aid systems like adaptive cruise control with steer assist and night-time pedestrian detection. It also has a new North American CEO and will spend more on marketing and communications here. In China it will begin to feel more effect from the two Chinese factories opened last year - it has three in the country - and, if need be, can take advantage of more advantageous exchange rates by exporting from China instead of the US. Said Samuelsson of what he expects in the US in 2014, "we will outperform the market."