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Even 'basic' girls are tired of their cheating VW Jettas

Well, this didn't take long. Former Volkswagen CEO Martin Winterkorn's office probably hasn't even been packed yet, and the jokes about his scandal-ridden former employer have already begun to fly. Today, we'll be featuring the team from Funny Or Die, which has opted to not only skewer Volkswagen for its TDIsaster, but one of the victims of the company's catastrophe – the 'basic' girl. For those not in the know, "basic," according to Urban Dictionary is an adjective reserved for someone "devoid of defining characteristics that might make a person interesting, extraordinary, or just simply worth devoting time or attention to," and that they are "lacking intelligence and unable to socialize on even an elementary level." And when it comes to basic girls, the Volkswagen Jetta is as ubiquitous as a Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte. But with the VW controversy, basic girls are finding their Jettas aren't so good for their green credentials. So check out Funny Or Die's take on these scorned drivers, in the video above. And fair warning, there's a bit of foul language.

KBB: VW diesel prices have dropped 16%

There are a lot of post-scandal theories and metrics concerning Volkswagen's performance during the diesel emissions scandal, although none of them has created a clear picture of where things are headed. Kelley Blue Book has a few more to add to the spreadsheet, though, finding that average auction prices for VW diesels and Internet shoppers perusing them have both gone down in the past four weeks on KBB.com. Auction prices on the site are down an average of 16 percent for VW oil burners, which compares to a decline of 2.9 percent for gas-powered VWs. Shoppers are still on the lookout, though, even if the numbers are slightly reduced. Overall, "new-car shopping activity" for the small-capacity VW diesel offerings is down 2.4 percent, a number held partly in check by searches for the Jetta SportWagen being up by 3.7 percent. Shoppers are looking harder at the Audi A3 diesel, too, its activity up 1.6 percent. The Golf, though, is down 3.7 percent and the Golf SportWagen down 6.2 percent. Shoppers leaving the diesel fold aren't necessarily going for high-mileage options, either, KBB saying that the Ford Fusion and Honda Civic are quick alternatives to the Jetta TDI, while the Mercedes CLA and BMW 2 Series are getting new looks from those interested in the Audi A3 diesel. You can read the full release from KBB below. VOLKSWAGEN DIESEL VEHICLE PRICES DECLINE NEARLY 16 PERCENT, ACCORDING TO KELLEY BLUE BOOK DATA New-Car Shopping Activity Also Impacted by Recent Emissions Issue IRVINE, Calif., October 21, 2015 – Kelley Blue Book www.kbb.com, the only vehicle valuation and information source trusted and relied upon by both consumers and the automotive industry, today reports that average auction prices, along with new-car shopping activity on KBB.com, for Volkswagen diesel vehicles have declined four weeks after the diesel emissions issue was announced. The average auction price for Volkswagen diesel models dropped by nearly 16 percent since the news broke of the emissions crisis.[1] The average auction price for the brand's gasoline-powered vehicles declined by 2.9 percent.1 On KBB.com, Volkswagen new-car shopping activity for affected TDI models has decreased on average by 2.4 percent. "According to Kelley Blue Book Field Analysts, some auctions are still holding off on selling the affected Volkswagen inventory," said Tim Fleming, analyst for Kelley Blue Book.

Volkswagen scores dominant 1-2-3 finish at Monte Carlo Rally

Racing calendars change from year to year, but most series have that one race they just couldn't do without: the Monaco Grand Prix for F1, Le Mans for endurance racing, Dakar for rally raid, the Indianapolis 500 for Indy, the Daytona 500 for NASCAR... and for the World Rally Championship, it's the Monte Carlo Rally. Winning the Monte brings with it its own measure of bragging rights, but locking out the podium is another story altogether. And that's just what Volkswagen did this weekend on the Cote d'Azur. The hard-fought season-opener saw nine-time world champion (and seven-time Monte Carlo Rally winner) Sebastien Loeb return with Citroen, but ultimately it was the VW team that won – and won big, taking a commanding 1-2-3 finish. Sebastien Ogier (with Julien Ingrassia) finished first, followed by Jari-Matti Latvala (with Miika Anttila) in second and Andreas Mikkelsen (with Ola Floene) in third, all of them in the Volkswagen Polo R WRC that was just updated in time for the start of the season. The rally passed right through the Forest Saint Julien where Ogier was born, and at the end of it all, Mikkelsen walked little more than 50 steps from the Volkswagen garage to his condo at Quai Antoine 1er in Monte Carlo. It was only the second time VW has locked out the podium since hitting the scene two years ago, following the German team's 1-2-3 finish in Australia last season en route to its second consecutive world championship. This also marked the second year in a row that Ogier and VW have won the Monte, after narrowly losing out to Loeb in '03. The achievement in Monaco this weekend made VW only the fifth manufacturer to take the top three spots in the Monegasque capital: Renault-Alpine became the first in 1973, followed by Lancia (with the Stratos) in '76 and then again (with the Delta Integrale) in '89, Audi sandwiched between in '84 and Citroen with the "dream team" of Loeb, Colin McRae and Carlos Sainz in 2003. (Peugeot achieved the same in 2009, but that was when the Monte Carlo Rally had left the WRC and was run as part of the less prominent and lower-spec Intercontinental Rally Challenge.) Not even Subaru, Mitsubishi, Toyota or Ford - all dominant forces in their time - can claim that feat. The victory secures the Polo R WRC's place as the most dominant car in the championship, winning over 85 percent of the rallies in which it has been entered since its debut in 2003. FIA World Rally Championship (WRC), Rally Monte Carlo One-two-three!