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Even 'basic' girls are tired of their cheating VW Jettas

Well, this didn't take long. Former Volkswagen CEO Martin Winterkorn's office probably hasn't even been packed yet, and the jokes about his scandal-ridden former employer have already begun to fly. Today, we'll be featuring the team from Funny Or Die, which has opted to not only skewer Volkswagen for its TDIsaster, but one of the victims of the company's catastrophe – the 'basic' girl. For those not in the know, "basic," according to Urban Dictionary is an adjective reserved for someone "devoid of defining characteristics that might make a person interesting, extraordinary, or just simply worth devoting time or attention to," and that they are "lacking intelligence and unable to socialize on even an elementary level." And when it comes to basic girls, the Volkswagen Jetta is as ubiquitous as a Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte. But with the VW controversy, basic girls are finding their Jettas aren't so good for their green credentials. So check out Funny Or Die's take on these scorned drivers, in the video above. And fair warning, there's a bit of foul language.

VW will expand goodwill package to larger diesels

Volkswagen Group of America will expand its goodwill package to affected owners of the VW Touareg and other models with the 3.0 TDI. The company may also replace the catalytic converter on some cars equipped with the 2.0-liter four-cylinder TDI engine to bring it into compliance with US emissions. VW Group of America boss Michael Horn told Reuters he plans announce the goodwill program's expansion to the 2009-2016 Touareg during the Detroit Auto Show, and company spokesperson Jeannine Ginivan also confirmed this to Autoblog. Audi intends to extend the offer to its affected owners, too. As with the previous goodwill package, participating customers would receive a $500 prepaid Visa card and $500 to use at dealers. The EPA issued a violation notice against the 3.0 TDI in November and later extended it to additional model years. Audi later admitted that the engine, which was also in the Touareg and Porsche Cayenne, had undisclosed emissions management software. However, the automaker limited the goodwill package only to the 2.0-liter powerplant while it investigated the allegations against the larger mill. VW has not announced a recall plan in the US for the 2.0 TDI so far, but VW Group CEO Matthias Muller recently outlined a possible solution that could fix about 430,000 of the 482,000 affected vehicles. "We have one [catalytic converter] in the works and we believe that will be a part of the technical solutions," he told Reuters. Muller plans to discuss the repair while in Washington D.C. on Wednesday to meet with the EPA. "I think we can now offer a package that will come very close to what the EPA is expecting from us," Muller said to Reuters. He also suggested the company might buy back some affected models but didn't confirm the recent rumor claiming that the buy-back may cover as many as 115,000 cars.

VW suspends sales in South Korea ahead of government meeting

Volkswagen and Audi have announced they will suspend sales of 79 different models in South Korea ahead of a meeting with the country's environmental ministry. VW will halt sales starting on July 25, the same day that its officials are to sit down with the South Korean environmental ministry, which will likely punish the German company. The Wall Street Journal reports that Korea's response to the situation will likely come in the form of an outright sales ban on Volkswagen products by revoking certifications on 79 different models based on 34 different vehicle types. Affected models include the VW Golf, Jetta, and Tiguan and the Audi A3 and A6, the WSJ reports. Essentially, it looks like VW is merely trying to get out ahead of the South Korean government. If the revocation goes through, it'd likely lead to fines and a relatively large recall of around 79,000 vehicles, the WSJ reports. Despite the dreary forecast, Volkswagen reaffirmed its commitment to the South Korean market. "This decision doesn't mean that Volkswagen is pulling out of Korea, which is a very important market to us," a Korean rep for the company said in a statement. "We'll reapply for certification of our cars if the government revokes it. The process may take several months." While Volkswagen's diesel emissions testing scandal is part of the problem, South Korea is taking a harder line than a lot of other countries. Authorities indicted a Volkswagen exec on charges of submitting falsified emissions documents and noise tests last week, while separately, Korea's trade watchdog is considering criminal charges against execs, according to the WSJ. Banning VW Group sales in South Korea isn't quite as dramatic as if the company stopped sales in China, the United States, or Germany, but it's still going to sting. VW Group products (including Bentley) represented around a third of European cars imported by South Korea last year. News Source: The Wall Street JournalImage Credit: Stefan Wermuth / Reuters Government/Legal Green Audi Volkswagen Emissions vw diesel scandal