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The VW emissions carnage assessment with an upside

Bombs cause destruction. Even if they're intelligently guided and pinpoint, there's always collateral damage. The strange Volkswagen brew, which is still spontaneously combusting in plain sight, will result in aftershocks for years. And the professional end of the corporation's top leadership will not be the only casualties. Blows are striking shareholder confidence, the residual value of the cars involved, consumer confidence, and the German economy itself. A hard rain's going to fall elsewhere, too. Here are just four damage assessment areas. The High-Compression Past and Low-Compassion Future of Diesels Despite European and especially German manufacturers' high belief that diesel engines were a way to light-duty automotive salvation, VW's scandal started the last nail in the fuel's coffin. Regulations both in the U.S. and in Europe for particulates and nitrogen oxide (NOx) are getting much harder to meet, and this is at the very core of VW's deception. Even with the high-cost exhaust after-treatment systems, sky-high fuel pressure, and sophisticated electronics, the inescapable NOx realities won't be washable by technology in an affordable way. German engineering pride will have to work a real miracle to meet these looming regs and the stain of VW's scandal did the whole diesel movement no favors. Perhaps not so ironically, the E.U. adopted more stringent emission standards this year, which closely mimic the U.S. Tier 2, Bin 5 figures phased in for 2008. Indeed, when VW announced it was able to meet the stringent US NOx emissions standards in 2009 for its diesel engines without urea injection as an exhaust after-treatment, it was a particularly high point of engineering pride for the company. No other manufacturer had figured out how to do so. One Honda official at the time remarked that they had simply no idea how VW was achieving this feat and Honda couldn't come close. Well, neither could VW. On a macro scale, European cities are also starting to face government fines for air quality violations. This is forcing those cities to find various ways to cut smog-related causes like tailpipe emissions. In fact, Paris has gone to the length of restricting car use on a sliding scale when smog persists, while electric cars are free to roam. France's longer and larger plan is banning diesel fuel for light-duty transportation entirely. But why was there a frothy focus by the European manufacturers on diesels in the first place?

This semi-autonomous stroller from VW is a great idea

We're still on the fence about the prospect of autonomous vehicles. On the one hand, they promise to make commuting a breeze and collisions a thing of the past. On the other, they stand to take us away from the steering wheel, and that's something we can't abide. But an autonomous stroller, now that's the kind of idea we can get behind. Shame such a thing doesn't exist... right? That's what we assumed until we saw this spot from Volkswagen. The German automaker's Dutch office posted on Facebook, asking the public for suggestions on how the company might improve other products, aside from automobiles. The most popular response was a baby stroller with automatic braking. So they went ahead and built one. The resulting prototype – and we're sorry to report that it's just a prototype for the time being – doesn't just have automatic braking. It can even follow the parent (or nanny or whomever) around under its own power and with its own steering. It's got the adaptive cruise control sensor from a Golf and is programmed to keep a fixed distance from the guardian in front. Or so the video suggests, at any rate. There's a good chance that there's some manner of trickery going on here, probably in the form of a hidden engineer off-screen with a remote control, and hopefully without an actual baby on board. Whether it's real or not, the invention in the commercial is sure to pique the interest of the parents among us, and maybe get those without kids thinking about taking that big step... stroller autonomously in tow.

VW delays new Phaeton flagship sedan

The Bugatti Veyron was a crusade begun by former Volkswagen Group CEO Ferdinand Piech. Even though the old patriarch is no longer with the company and the astonishing coupe is rumored to have never made a cash profit, everyone understands why the car remained in the family and why a successor is on the way. The same can't be said for the VW Phaeton, another one of Piech's pursuits. Thirteen years after the budget brand introduced the now 89,650-euro ($101,000) luxury sedan that competes with other in-house products, no one knows why it lives. Since VW made roughly 4,000 of them last year, the news that it's being delayed won't affect many people. The next-generation Phaeton developed on the MLB platform is apparently ready to go right now, but Bloomberg reports that the bosses have demanded lower production and material costs before it gets a final green light. At the moment the Phaeton is put together by hand by white-gloved technicians, which might sound like a great place to start counting pennies, but again, those technicians only built 4,000 sedans last year. That's fewer than the Eos, which is being retired for slow sales, and VW sold 3,411 Eos models in the US alone last year. Recent hire Herbert Diess is the VW exec in charge of the cost-cutting push. The Phaeton is a grain of sand - but a very important one - on the beach he's meant to conquer: Diess plans to raise VW brand profit to more than six percent by 2018 at the same time there's a group-wide push to save $5.5 billion. That number would more than double the brand's current 2.7-percent profit for 2015 so far, that current number being about half the profit over at struggling French maker PSA Peugeot-Citroen. The new Phaeton's on-sale date had been reported as 2017 or 2018 earlier this year. It isn't clear how long the sedan will be pushed back because of the production changes.