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Even 'basic' girls are tired of their cheating VW Jettas

Well, this didn't take long. Former Volkswagen CEO Martin Winterkorn's office probably hasn't even been packed yet, and the jokes about his scandal-ridden former employer have already begun to fly. Today, we'll be featuring the team from Funny Or Die, which has opted to not only skewer Volkswagen for its TDIsaster, but one of the victims of the company's catastrophe – the 'basic' girl. For those not in the know, "basic," according to Urban Dictionary is an adjective reserved for someone "devoid of defining characteristics that might make a person interesting, extraordinary, or just simply worth devoting time or attention to," and that they are "lacking intelligence and unable to socialize on even an elementary level." And when it comes to basic girls, the Volkswagen Jetta is as ubiquitous as a Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte. But with the VW controversy, basic girls are finding their Jettas aren't so good for their green credentials. So check out Funny Or Die's take on these scorned drivers, in the video above. And fair warning, there's a bit of foul language.

Audi's Project Artemis woes could delay range of VW Group EVs

Two years ago, Audi's then new CEO Markus Duesmann announced his first big initiative called Project Artemis. The plan's marquee component is "to implement a new lighthouse project for Audi in record time," being "a highly efficient electric car scheduled to be on the road as early as 2024" on a brand new platform that would be shared with Porsche and Bentley. An ex-VW and -Porsche man named Alex Hitzinger, who'd also spent time at Apple working on the tech company's electric car, was brought on board to lead Project Artemis and come up with new ideas. Parent Volkswagen Group said it wanted to become "as agile as in a racing team," removing the bureaucratic molasses and bottlenecks interfering with getting the best product on the road in the best time. However, in any grand venture, failure comes before success. Automobilwoche reports that Artemis is struggling through issues large enough to push the product plans back by years. The issue, as it was with the ID.3 lineup on the eve of that car's launch, is software. Well, that's the latest, largest problem; Artemis has already been through copious struggles before getting to the software bit. Two months after Hitzinger came on, in December 2020, VW raised its EV volume target from 50% to 70% by 2030. That necessitated a rethink of the VW Group's entire platform strategy considering the far greater production scale. Hitzinger only lasted six months in the job, ousted in May 2021, supposedly because Audi believed his ideas were "not suitable for profitable series production" among other reasons. By that time, the pace of software development was already said to be six months behind schedule, with the Car.Software division working on VW.OS 2.0 "not yet running at the speed hoped for." Internal frictions were noteworthy and costly as well. VW's commercial division plant in Hanover was meant to build Artemis vehicles for Audi, Porsche and Bentley, but Automobilwoche reported in January of this year that Porsche paid a ""small three-digit million amount" — like $100 million or so — to get out of the deal mandating its vehicles come from the Hanover facility.    So Audi effectively brought Artemis in-house to lead vehicle development, and Car.Software turned into Cariad to get VW.OS and VW.AC, which stands for Automotive Cloud, to market.  The first Audi vehicle under Project Artemis was planned to arrive by the end of 2024, a production version of the Grandsphere concept.

VW redoes A-ha's 'Take On Me' music video

Volkswagen has been responsible for its fair share of witty, clever commercials. "Tiny Vader" might be the most popular, but somehow, we think this newest spot will find a big audience. VW delivers not so much a cover, but a reimagining, of 1980s Norwegian pop band A-ha's famous music video for "Take On Me."
The original opens with an animated motorcycle race, which is revealed to be part of a comic book. VW's version replaces the motorcycle with a Passat, which strikes us as an oddly sober choice when there are cars like the GTI and Beetle in VW's portfolio. But never mind that - take a look down below for the entire 46-second spot. For reference, we've also included the original music video. And if you aren't a fan of the musical stylings of A-ha, just think, VW's choice of 1980s music could have been much worse.