1984 Volkswagen Bus Vanagon on 2040-cars

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Even 'basic' girls are tired of their cheating VW Jettas

Well, this didn't take long. Former Volkswagen CEO Martin Winterkorn's office probably hasn't even been packed yet, and the jokes about his scandal-ridden former employer have already begun to fly. Today, we'll be featuring the team from Funny Or Die, which has opted to not only skewer Volkswagen for its TDIsaster, but one of the victims of the company's catastrophe – the 'basic' girl. For those not in the know, "basic," according to Urban Dictionary is an adjective reserved for someone "devoid of defining characteristics that might make a person interesting, extraordinary, or just simply worth devoting time or attention to," and that they are "lacking intelligence and unable to socialize on even an elementary level." And when it comes to basic girls, the Volkswagen Jetta is as ubiquitous as a Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte. But with the VW controversy, basic girls are finding their Jettas aren't so good for their green credentials. So check out Funny Or Die's take on these scorned drivers, in the video above. And fair warning, there's a bit of foul language.

Volkswagen posts quarterly profit despite drop in sales

Volkswagen returned to profit in the third quarter as surging Chinese demand for luxury cars helped offset a 1.1% drop in vehicle deliveries due to the pandemic, sending its shares as much as 3% higher on Thursday. The German automaker's return to the black comes amid spiking coronavirus cases in Europe that led governments in France and Germany to order their countries back into strict national lockdowns on Wednesday. "The coronavirus remains a central problem," Volkswagen Chief Financial Officer Frank Witter said in a conference call with reporters. "This situation now is anything but relaxed." But Witter said the group expected the economic recovery to continue and did "not anticipate any nationwide lockdowns in larger markets." Witter said the takeover of U.S. truck maker Navistar International by Volkswagen's trucking unit Traton was an important acquisition, but the "current economic climate will not make this easy." Volkswagen reiterated it expects to post a profit for the full year, saying its business "recovered noticeably" in the third quarter as sales in China of premium vehicles, including Audi and Porsche sports cars, rose 3%. The quarterly performance was also aided by a series of cost-cutting measures launched earlier this year. Volkswagen said its net liquidity rose to 24.8 billion euros from 18.7 billion at the end of the second quarter. Excluding one-time items, third-quarter operating profit was 3.2 billion euros ($3.8 billion), down from 4.8 billion euros a year earlier, but up from a second quarter loss of 1.7 billion. In a note to clients, Jefferies analyst Philippe Houchois described the results as a "solid performance with strong cash, but relatively muted in the context of the (auto) sector recovery." Last week, German rival Daimler reported a record 24% jump in Chinese demand for its Mercedes-Benz cars, boosting its margins in the third quarter. Italian-American Fiat Chrysler Automobiles and Peugeot manufacturer PSA Group both also posted solid results this week. Witter said Volkswagen could not say for sure whether it would meet EU CO2 emissions targets this year, adding "it will be a tough race." At 1030 GMT, Volkswagen shares were up 2.9% at 129.20 euros. Related Video: Earnings/Financials Audi Bentley Bugatti Lamborghini Porsche Volkswagen

VW planning 20 new plug-in models for China

With just about everything getting super-sized for China, Volkswagen is following suit with its plug-in vehicle plans for the world's most populous country. VW, Europe's largest carmaker, is looking to sell more than 20 different plug-in models in China within the next four years, Reuters says, citing comments Volkswagen Group China head Jochem Heizmann made in Shanghai. The company is hoping that translates to sales of more than 100,000 plug-ins in China by the end of the decade. Go big or go home, right? There's a huge plug-in vehicle opportunity in China, especially given the bad pollution situation in cities like Beijing and Shanghai and the Chinese government's incentives for plug-in vehicle buyers. Volkswagen CEO Martin Winterkorn said at the Beijing Motor Show this spring that the company would spend $25 billion on at least a half-dozen plug-in models for China by 2018. VW will start selling the e-Golf in China this year and the Golf GTE plug-in hybrid in 2015. VW said in August that it would start selling the e-Golf in the US for about $35,500 in November. That's a $6,500 price hike from the base Nissan Leaf.