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24 Hours of Le Mans live update part one

We tasked surfing journalist Rory Parker to watch this year's live stream of the 2016 24 Hours of Le Mans. What follows is an experiment to experience the world's greatest endurance race from the perspective of a motorsports novice with a profanity-laden stream-of-consciousness writing style. Parker lives in Hawaii and spends far more time spearfishing than behind the wheel of a car. Jump ahead to Part Two here, and Part Three here. Big Money and billionaire hobbyists and rockets on wheels. Jets belching French color smoke overhead. Balance of power fuckery. Plenty of water on the ground this morning. Absurdly expensive motorcars lined up in the pissing rain. Fast twitch lunatics behind the wheel. Chomping at the bit. Let's go let's go let's go! Race hasn't even started, Ford #67 maybe dealing with clutch issues. Karma? That beautiful bastard Brad Pitt's out on the track, waving the tricolor flag. It's a standing start in "Noah's Ark" weather and the 2016 24 hours of Le Mans is go! First lap takes place behind the safety car, finished in a record setting 8 minutes 27 seconds. Wrong kind of record maybe, but this is the first time I've set my mind to watching the whole damn race. Feel like I'm part of history. 3:00 AM on Kauai, a little too early for life. Sucking down coffee like a maniac. Don't fall back asleep. Got my hands on four hours of rest, how much more can I need? Better be enough for the next twenty four hours. Gonna get kinda punchy toward the end. Jason Statham on the scene. Four feet of solid muscle, non-existent hairline. Lovely wife peanut gallery sitting next to me calls him the "best race car drive in the world." Not sure if she's serious. Toss up, could go either way. Statham's a funny guy. Heir to the Bruce Willis comedy action crown. Really good in the movie where the fat comedy lady plays a spy. Ford's on the road. Problems with gearbox pressure, apparently. Nearing a half hour in and the safety car is still on the track. Hellish amounts of water on the ground, in the air. Visibility is garbage. Getting better. Twitter wags, "Not with a bang but a whimper." Just building suspense. Mother Nature felt like killing some people today, race officials need to dial back the drivers until it dries a tad. Normal inclination would've seen 'em flying, guaranteed early lap wrecks. Sad news for that bloodthirsty part of my lizard brain I try and keep suppressed. Good news for humanity. #12 in the pit for a bit.

Ford fights back against patent trolls

Some people are just awful. Some organizations are just as awful. And when those people join those organizations, we get stories like this one, where Ford has spent the past several years combatting so-called patent trolls. According to Automotive News, these malicious organizations have filed over a dozen lawsuits against the company since 2012. They work by purchasing patents, only to later accuse companies of misusing intellectual property, despite the fact that the so-called patent assertion companies never actually, you know, do anything with said intellectual property. AN reports that both Hyundai and Toyota have been victimized by these companies, with the former forced to pay $11.5 million to a company called Clear With Computers. Toyota, meanwhile, settled with Paice LLC, over its hybrid tech. The world's largest automaker agreed to pay $5 million, on top of $98 for every hybrid it sold (if the terms of the deal included each of the roughly 1.5 million hybrids Toyota sold since 2000, the company would have owed $147 million). Including the previous couple of examples, AN reports 107 suits were filed against automakers last year alone. But Ford is taking action to prevent further troubles... kind of. The company has signed on with a firm called RPX, in what sounds strangely like a protection racket. Automakers like Ford pay RPX around $1.5 million each year for access to its catalog of patents, which it spent nearly $1 billion building. "We take the protection and licensing of patented innovations very seriously," Ford told AN via email. "And as many smart businesses are doing, we are taking proactive steps to protect against those seeking patent infringement litigation." What are your thoughts on this? Should this patent business be better managed? Is it reasonable that companies purchase patents only to file suit against the companies that build actual products? Have your say in Comments.

The ugly economics of green vehicles

It's fair to say that most consumers would prefer a green vehicle, one that has a lower impact on the environment and goes easy on costly fuel (in all senses of the term). The problem is that most people can't – or won't – pay the price premium or put up with the compromises today's green cars demand. We're not all "cashed-up greenies." In 2013, the average selling price of a new vehicle was $32,086. The truth is that most Americans can't afford a new car, green or not. In 2013, the average selling price of a new vehicle was $32,086. According to a recent Federal Reserve study, the median income for American families was $46,700 in 2013, a five-percent decline from $49,000 in 2010. While $32,000 for a car may not sound like a lot to some, it's about $630 a month financing for 48 months, assuming the buyer can come up with a $6,400 down payment. And that doesn't include gas, insurance, taxes, maintenance and all the rest. It's no wonder that a recent study showed that the average family could afford a new car in only one of 25 major US cities. AutoTrader conducted a recent survey of 1,900 millennials (those born between 1980 and 2000) about their new and used car buying habits. Isabelle Helms, AutoTrader's vice president of research, said millennials are "big on small" vehicles, which tend to be more affordable. Millennials also yearn for alternative-powered vehicles, but "they generally can't afford them." When it comes to the actual behavior of consumers, the operative word is "affordable," not "green." In 2012, US new car sales rose to 14.5 million. But according to Manheim Research, at 40.5 million units, used car sales were almost three times as great. While the days of the smoke-belching beater are mostly gone, it's a safe bet that the used cars are far less green in terms of gas mileage, emissions, new technology, etc., than new ones. Who Pays the Freight? Green cars, particularly alternative-fuel green cars, cost more than their conventional gas-powered siblings. A previous article discussed how escalating costs and limited utility drove me away from leasing a hydrogen fuel cell-powered Hyundai Tucson, which at $50,000, was nearly twice the cost of the equivalent gas-powered version. In Hyundai's defense, it's fair to ask who should pay the costs of developing and implementing new technology vehicles and the infrastructure to support them.