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24 Hours of Le Mans live update part three

We tasked surfing journalist Rory Parker to watch this year's live stream of the 2016 24 Hours of Le Mans. What follows is an experiment to experience the world's greatest endurance race from the perspective of a motorsports novice. Parker lives in Hawaii and has an associates degree in dropping f-bombs. For Part One, click here. Part Two is here. Really hoped I'd be able to grab an hour or two of sleep before the sun rose over Le Mans. Dark dark dark, couldn't figure out what was going on. Commentators struggled at times as well. But I couldn't do it. Endurance racing is just too exciting. Grabs my attention with both fists. Screams, "watch these men DRIVE!" A neighbor invited me over for drinks. Told him, "Can't do it, gotta watch Le Mans!" Maybe not exactly. I'll admit, at times my attention wandered. I did a load of laundry. Ate some snacks. Half listened to the commentary. Threw a hump at my wife. I learned that Patrick Long, driving #88, is big brother to Kevin "Spanky" Long. Spanky's a bit of a legend in the skate world. Always weird how top notch talent can run in families like that. Kind of surprised I've never heard that before. Worked for a skate mag for a years, met Spanky a handful of times. Someone must've told me that he has an older brother who drives race cars. Dash cams at night are scary. High powered headlights in the P1s reach almost 300 meters. Cars outrun that distance easy. Seems like they're just steering into the black and hoping for the best. But that can't be the case. People'd be dropping dead let and right. Very amused by how the guys in GT are like, "Dude, stop flashing your fucking lights before you pass." But the LMP's are all, "Suck a dick! I do what I want." Top three stayed neck and neck nearly all night long. As the sun gets ready to creep back over the horizon the top three are separated by only eleven and a half seconds. Toyota 5 and 6, Porsche 2. Audi 8 is two laps behind Porsche, beleaguered 7 is dealing with constant trouble eleven laps from the front. GTE Pro sees Ferrari 82 in first, Ford 68 and 69 right behind. To win you've gotta drive perfect, build perfect. Fours cars retired so far. I'm beginning to appreciate the endurance aspect a little more fully. Only really considered the drivers at first. The mental and physical stress driving these cars at these speeds at length would inflict. But keeping the damn things running is the real deal. To win you've gotta drive perfect, build perfect.

Here are this year's top 5 automaker April Fools’ jokes

April 1 is the wonderful day when PR departments really push themselves to top the zany jokes they came up with the previous year. And it's not just fast-food chains competing with each other, or breweries announcing they have released stuff like a fermented herring flavored beer: carmakers' media teams rarely miss out on the opportunity to play a little joke on their audience. Here are a few of our favorites from this year:1) Porsche Porsche announced that it's launching a Mission E tractor, styled to resemble its 1950s tractor models. "With a power output in excess of 700hp, the Mission E Tractor will be the fastest accelerating agricultural vehicle in the world, enabling farmers to harvest crops in record time with the added environmental benefits of zero emissions at source and significantly reduced operating noise."2) Lexus Lexus actually jumped the gun, telling us on March 28 that it's combining cars and drivers using DNA matching. The kicker was that with DNA-matched cars, owners would be able to start their Lexuses by licking the steering wheel.3) McLaren Automotive McLaren said it's boosting efficiency by quite eccentric measures, such as measuring the technology center's lake and floor tiles daily, and by synchronizing the staff's tea breaks.4) BMW Motorrad BMW's motorcycle arm is solving parts availability issues in remote locations by offering a 3D printer mounted permanently on the bike's rack: If you need to replace a broken-off gear lever, you can just print one. "The new system will mean that even very rarely required parts not generally stocked by BMW Motorrad sales partners can be supplied on a just-in-time basis." BMW even went to the lengths of announcing that the "BMW Motorrad iPart 3D Mobile Printer" was tested on the Antarctic, by erecting a tent whose poles were produced onsite.5) Honda Last but not least, Honda UK purportedly cut the roof off a new CR-V, calling it the CR-V Roadster. Tellingly, no convertible top was even offered for the concept, "making it a no-top rather than a drop-top. This innovative design makes it a vehicle purely for sunnier climates and therefore completely useless for the two-day British summer which traditionally occurs in May."Related Video: Featured Gallery Top 5 April Fools 2018 Image Credit: Porsche Green Humor Weird Car News BMW Honda Lexus McLaren Porsche bmw motorrad mclaren automotive

Lanzante building 11 Porsche 930 restomods with actual F1-raced engines

In " Casino Royale," James Bond gets a lesson in tailored clothing when Vesper Lynd gives him a new dinner jacket. Bond tell her he already has a jacket, and Lynd replies, "There are dinner jackets and dinner jackets. This one is the latter." News from Lanzante makes us paraphrase that line in saying, "There are 911 restomods and 911 restomods." Lanzante's is definitely the latter. The English engineering firm is building 11 Eighties-era Porsche 930s with genuine TAG-branded Porsche engines that the McLaren Formula One team used to win 25 races. From 1984 to 1987, Porsche built a 1.5-liter turbocharged V6, branded as the TAG-Porsche TTE P01, for the McLaren MP4/2 and MP4/3; if the naming seems odd to cover four years, it's because McLaren raced the MP4/2B and MP4/2C in 1985 and 1986. The engine produced more than 1,000 horsepower in qualifying trim, and 750 hp in race spec. In its first three years on the grid, the engine powered McLaren to two Constructor's Championships, and three Driver's Championships for Niki Lauda and Alain Prost. During that time, McLaren built a prototype Porsche 930 with that TAG engine, but kept it so far out of sight that people spoke of it as a rumor. The English carmaker finally proved the rumor true a few years ago when it put the prototype on display in the lobby of its Woking headquarters. Enter Lanzante, which has a history with McLaren going back to at least 1995, when it prepped the Veno Clinic McLaren F1 GTR that won Le Mans that year. More recently, it built road-legal P1 GTRs called the P1 GT, and a one-off P1 Longtail. McLaren sold Lanzante the 11 engines for this run of monstrously overpowered Porsche coupes, and Lanzante showed off the first example at the recent Rennsport Reunion at Laguna Seca — news that somehow got lost in the general Porsche overdose and Moby Dick revival. Built just like the original McLaren-Porsche prototype, no one will think anything's astray with the new version's white bodywork and RUF wheels. The camouflage continues inside, where a pair of upholstered racing buckets might offer a small clue. The instrument panel gives things away, containing a tachometer branded "TAG Turbo" with a 9,000-rpm redline, and a water temperature gauge. Cosworth is restoring the engines for the program, and each of the 11 examples gets a plaque in the engine bay listing its engine's race history.