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Mark Webber treats Maria Sharapova to a Porsche 918 Spyder joyride

We don't much like Mark Webber right now. Part of being a racing driver is dealing with promotional stuff. It's not hard to find a driver that can't stand all this nonsense, whether it be promoting a product, meeting investors or attending some obscure event. Even a driver of Webber's caliber - a former Formula One driver for Red Bull Racing and a member of Porsche's factory Le Mans team - has to serve his time at the promo events.
Somehow, though, we don't think the Aussie driver minds this particular promo detail. In the video below, Webber attends the Porsche Tennis Grand Prix in Stuttgart. He then takes tennis superstar Maria Sharapova out for a spin behind the wheel of the Porsche 918 Spyder. The level of jealousy at the Autoblog office is palpable.
Take a look below for the video. And as we're super jealous of Mr. Webber, hop into Comments and caption the above photo based on what you think he's saying to Maria. Bonus points if you can work "vegemite" into the caption.

NHTSA closes probe into 2011 Porsche 911 coolant leaks

The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration has announced that it will end its investigation into rapid coolant loss in 24,635 Porsche 911s built between 2001 and 2011. The models affected included the standard 911, GT2, GT3 and Turbo, as well as their variants (GT2 RS, GT3 RS and Turbo S).
NHTSA was investigating for "rapid coolant loss caused by coolant pipe-fitting failure, allegedly resulting in vehicle disablement and/or loss of vehicle control due to reduced traction for the affected vehicle or following traffic," according to the regulators website. "Most of the leak complaints did not appear to involve complete separation of the fittings and many were detected when the vehicle was parked," said NHTSA's statement.
There were 63 complaints and 336 warranty claims, although the investigation was initiated after ten complaints from customers. There have been no reports of crashes or injuries attributed to rapid coolant loss.

2014 Porsche 911 Turbo and Turbo S debut [w/video]

The Turbo S will dispatch the Nürburgring in "well under seven and a half minutes."
Porsche is celebrating the 40th anniversary of its 911 Turbo in the best possible way: by announcing the next-generation of the rear-engined beast. The 2014 Porsche 911 Turbo and Turbo S are here, and man oh man, do they seem like the business.