2004 Porsche Cayenne Turbo Only 44k Black/black on 2040-cars

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This man literally loves a Porsche [NSFW]

Think you know what "auto erotic" means? Think again. Because one man in Thailand has redefined the term. Caught on security camera footage this guy lurks into a garage, looks over both shoulders, evidently misses the camera, drops trou and has his way with a Porsche Boxster. When the tailpipe proved too hot (or otherwise inhospitable), he moves up to the radiator grille and – ahem – finishes up there. Sadly this isn't even the first time we've come across this particular perversion. We'd urge caution before viewing the video, not only because it's not suitable for a workplace environment, but because once you see it, you're bound to repeatedly blurt out, "Why, man!? Why?"

Watch a Cayenne Turbo S, Range Rover SVR, and Cherokee SRT drag race

We live in a weird world where high-performance SUVs could win a 60-mile-per-hour sprint against sports cars from just a few years ago. Here, Top Gear sets up a three-way drag race against the Porsche Cayenne Turbo S, Land Rover Range Rover Sport SVR, and Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT, and the results show just how quickly these high-riding models can cross the quarter mile. The Cherokee SRT is the patriotic choice among the three, but it's down on power in this fight. Meanwhile, the Range Rover's menacing growl sounds the best, and the Cayenne Turbo S has the most horsepower. You'll have to watch the video to see which SUV will win this battle. Related Video:

These are the cars with the best and worst depreciation after 5 years

The average new vehicle sold in America loses nearly half of its initial value after five years of ownership. No surprise there; we all expect that shiny new car to start depreciating as soon as we drive it off the lot. But some vehicles lose value a lot faster than others. According to data provided by iSeeCars.com, trucks and truck-based sport utility vehicles generally hold their value better than other vehicle types, with the Jeep Wrangler — in both four-door Unlimited and standard two-door styles — and Toyota Tacoma sitting at the head of the pack. The Jeep Wrangler Unlimited's average five-year depreciation of 30.9% equals a loss in value of $12,168. That makes Jeep's four-door off-roader the best overall pick for buyers looking to minimize depreciation. The Toyota Tacoma's 32.4% loss in initial value means it loses just $10,496. The smaller dollar amount — the least amount of money lost after five years — indicates that Tacoma buyers pay less than Wrangler Unlimited buyers, on average, when they initially buy the vehicle. The standard two-door Jeep Wrangler is third on the list, depreciating 32.8% after five years and losing $10,824. Click here for a full list of the top 10 vehicles with the least depreciation over five years. On the other side of the depreciation coin, luxury sedans tend to plummet in value at a much faster rate than other vehicle types. The BMW 7 Series leads the losers with a 72.6% drop in value after five years, which equals an alarming $73,686. BMW's slightly smaller 5 Series is next, depreciating 70.1%, or $47,038, over the same period. Number three on the biggest losers list is the Nissan Leaf, the only electric vehicle to appear in the bottom 10. The electric hatchback matches the 5 Series with a 70.1% drop in value, but since it's a much cheaper vehicle, that percentage equals a much smaller $23,470 loss. Click here for a full list of the top 10 vehicles with the most depreciation over five years.