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This junkyard '91 Grand Am is as hooptie as it gets

I spend a lot of time in junkyards. A lot of time. With all this experience, I have learned to recognize a perfect hooptie when I see one, a car whose final owner got every last bit of use out of it when its value was hovering right about at scrap value. This 1991 Pontiac Grand Am that I spotted in a San Francisco Bay Area self-service wrecking yard a few days ago, from the final model year for the third-generation Grand Am, checks all the hooptie boxes just right. First of all, it's a low-option coupe with the wretched and unloved GM Iron Duke engine, a rattly, gnashy, thrashy 2.5-liter four-cylinder kludged together using off-the-shelf parts from the Pontiac 301-cubic-inch V8 during the darkest years of the Malaise Era and used in cars whose buyers just didn't care. Most of the paint has been burned off by 25 years of harsh California sun, but the car spent sufficient time in a damp, shady spot for lichens to build up here and there. There are skeletons-with-sombreros stencils sprayed here and there, plus a big moonshine-guzzling skeleton mural painted on the hood. Goodbye, property values! Still, someone felt some affection for this car, giving it the name "Good Ol' Snakey" and painting that name on the decklid. We can assume that the Iron Duke was a bit loose by this time, probably leaving a serpentine trail of blue smoke behind the car at all times. So, the combination of cheapness, ugliness, menace, and who-gives-a-damn functionality make this Grand Am an excellent example of a pure hooptie. Within a couple of months, it will be crushed, shredded, shipped out of the Port of Oakland, and reborn in China as refrigerators and Geely Emgrands. Somewhere in Northern California, though, a few of Ol' Smokey's friends will remember this car fondly.

700 horsepower Porsche GT2 RS is the wildest 911 ever

The Porsche 911 comes in a variety of flavors, each filling a certain taste for a certain customer. Sitting atop the range is the new 911 GT2 RS. In previous generations, the GT2 had a bit of a reputation as a widowmaker, a 911 with massive power that could snap and bite with the slightest agitation. Porsche says the new model has been civilized, but with 700 horsepower going to the rear wheels, we're sure it's going to be as mad as ever. Power comes from a highly massaged version of the 3.8-liter flat-six from the 911 Turbo S. The rear-mounted engine makes an outrageous 700 horsepower and 553 lb-ft of torque. Like we previously reported, the new car will use water injection to help keep things cool. The only transmission is Porsche's PDK. While enthusiasts may lament the loss of the manual, the RS models have always been about performance above all else. Simply put, the PDK is the better performance option. All that power translates to a 0-60 mph time of 2.7 seconds and a top speed of 211 mph. The engine makes 80 more horsepower than the previous model. That makes it the most powerful road-going 911 ever built. In fact, the 887 horsepower 918 Spyder is the only road-going Porsche that makes more power. The fact that Porsche trusts all of that power to go to the rear is both thrilling and terrifying at the same time. In order to manage traction, the GT2 RS gets a number of upgrades. Rear-wheel steering has become commonplace in the 911 lineup, so it's no surprise to see it here. Sticky tires with 265/35 ZR 20 section rubber at the front and 325/30 ZR 21 section rubber at the rear keep things planted. That comically large rear wing adds downforce, adding to stability. The car gets standard carbon ceramic brakes. While some people prefer traditional rotors for the street, like the PDK, this is all about performance. A number of intakes and outlets complement the rear wing and maximize aerodynamic efficiency. It's a bit of a surprise that with all the focus on downforce, the GT2 RS still manages to top out at 211 mph. The hood, front wings, wheel housing vents, door mirrors, side air intakes, parts of the rear end, and a number of interior components are all made from carbon fiber. The roof has been made of magnesium. If you want to drop any pretense of civility and comfort in the pursuit of speed, Porsche is offering a Weissach package that shaves off another 40 pounds from the already impressive wet weight of 3,241.

Camaro-based Trans Am SE Bandit Edition borrows Burt Reynolds

For some reason, modifying modern Chevrolet Camaros into the lurching, reincarnated shells of the Pontiac brand is still a thing. If you're the perverse sort that likes this kind of thing, you should check out the latest product from the Trans Am Depot, which comes complete with an endorsement from the star of Smokey and the Bandit, Burt Reynolds. Yes, the new Trans Am SE Bandit Edition has been signed and endorsed by the man himself, but what's important here is not the signature on the dash, it's the bits of Camaro that have been modified. Aesthetically, that means a Bandit-and-Frog-approved set of T-tops, a front-opening hood with a very large, prominent shaker scoop, an equally large and prominent screaming chicken, and Trans Am-inspired front and rear fascias. And naturally, Burt Reynolds' signature adorns the dash. There are plenty of reminders in the cabin about this car's Hollywood inspiration, too. Bandit decals can be found on the front headrests and center console lid, there are chicken wings on the Camaro-spec plastic door inserts, and the black-and-tan color scheme matches nicely with the exterior look. And power? Well, Sheriff Buford T. Justice would have a lot more trouble keeping up with this Trans Am than he did with the original. The 7.4-liter LSX V8 has been paired with a 2.9-liter supercharger which is good for 840 horsepower. It's fast and loud, and even if you can't get behind the look (we can't), at least this Camaro-in-Trans Am's clothing can impress with its performance. The Bandit Edition is limited to just 77 units with prices starting around $115,000. You can check out the official video from Trans Am Depot, which comes with a decent helping of Burt Reynolds, up top. Related Video: