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Junkyard Gem: 2002 Pontiac Aztek

The General's Pontiac Division sold the Aztek for the 2001 through 2005 model years, and — despite enjoying something of a cultural rebirth in recent years — it is generally considered to be one of the worst cars of all time. The idea of using a minivan platform as the basis for a rough-and-tough-looking crossover with plenty of outdoor-lifestyle amenities wasn't the problem, since many vehicle manufacturers have printed bales of money using that formula. What doomed the Aztek was its hideous appearance and sticker price too lofty for its underemployed-at-the-time Generation X target demographic. Still, the Aztek proved to be perfectly suited for the outdoor activities that Coloradans love: hiking, camping, fishing, skiing, hauling mud-caked golden retrievers around, etc., and so you'll still find lots of Azteks on the roads of the Centennial State. Here's an Aztek Yellow Aztek (yes, that's really the paint color's official title) residing just a few rows from a '76 Checker Taxicab in a Denver self-service yard. Sure, it does look like a vehicle built to the specifications of a six-year-old who decreed a mashup between a Datsun F-10 and a Fisher-Price Little People Travel Together Airplane, but so what? There's a built-in air compressor to blow up your inflatable rafts and volleyballs, a tent attachment that turns the rear of the van into a camper, 12-volt power plugs all over the vehicle (years before this became commonplace on ordinary minivans and SUVs), and running-gear commonality with a jillion Ventures, Silhouettes, Montanas and Trans Sports. Buick managed to de-uglify the Aztek (somewhat) and sold it as the Rendezvous through 2007, but the Aztek never could win over many people with this face. I see plenty of Azteks and Rendezvouses in Denver-area wrecking yards, and I've documented a handful over the years. This one came fully loaded from the factory, with the Corvette-style heads-up display in full effect. The center console was a removable cooler, which was a great idea Â… except for the fact that this cooler holds five standard 12-ounce cans. Michigan residents tell me that this must have been intentional on the part of the Detroit-based Aztek designers, because Michiganders are expected to chug one beer out of a sixer as they walk from the liquor store to the car in the parking lot Â… which makes me extra cautious whenever I'm driving in the Wolverine State.

This junkyard '91 Grand Am is as hooptie as it gets

I spend a lot of time in junkyards. A lot of time. With all this experience, I have learned to recognize a perfect hooptie when I see one, a car whose final owner got every last bit of use out of it when its value was hovering right about at scrap value. This 1991 Pontiac Grand Am that I spotted in a San Francisco Bay Area self-service wrecking yard a few days ago, from the final model year for the third-generation Grand Am, checks all the hooptie boxes just right. First of all, it's a low-option coupe with the wretched and unloved GM Iron Duke engine, a rattly, gnashy, thrashy 2.5-liter four-cylinder kludged together using off-the-shelf parts from the Pontiac 301-cubic-inch V8 during the darkest years of the Malaise Era and used in cars whose buyers just didn't care. Most of the paint has been burned off by 25 years of harsh California sun, but the car spent sufficient time in a damp, shady spot for lichens to build up here and there. There are skeletons-with-sombreros stencils sprayed here and there, plus a big moonshine-guzzling skeleton mural painted on the hood. Goodbye, property values! Still, someone felt some affection for this car, giving it the name "Good Ol' Snakey" and painting that name on the decklid. We can assume that the Iron Duke was a bit loose by this time, probably leaving a serpentine trail of blue smoke behind the car at all times. So, the combination of cheapness, ugliness, menace, and who-gives-a-damn functionality make this Grand Am an excellent example of a pure hooptie. Within a couple of months, it will be crushed, shredded, shipped out of the Port of Oakland, and reborn in China as refrigerators and Geely Emgrands. Somewhere in Northern California, though, a few of Ol' Smokey's friends will remember this car fondly.

Junkyard Gem: 2009 Pontiac G3

Things weren't looking so rosy for Pontiac Division in late 2008, as The General had troubles of its own that culminated in Chapter 11 bankruptcy in June of 2009. Meanwhile, the Solstice and G8 had failed to revive Pontiac's youthful "excitement" image. Naturally, this seemed like the ideal time to put Pontiac badges and a new grille on the Chevrolet Aveo (itself a rebadged Daewoo Kalos) and call it the G3 (in the United States) or the G3 Wave (in Canada). Sales were not brisk, to put it mildly, and the 2009-only G3 has become one of the rarest modern Pontiacs in the junkyard world. The announcement of Pontiac's demise came in the spring of 2009, with the very last Pontiac-badged vehicle built being either a G3 or a Vibe (since those cars were really Daewoos and Toyotas, respectively, the true final Pontiac was the 2010 G6). The Aveo itself disappeared after the 2011 model year, replaced by an updated Kalos design known here as the Chevrolet Sonic. As a result of the GM bankruptcy, termination of the Pontiac brand, a nasty worldwide recession, and the preference of American vehicle shoppers for trucks or at least truck-shaped cars, few knew the G3 existed and fewer still thought to buy one. This is only the second G3 I've managed to find in a car graveyard, and I've been searching diligently.  So, it's a Junkyard Gem in the historical sense, not in the sense of being the kind of car you'd want to take to your 20th high school reunion. That said, it has power windows, air conditioning, and a CD player— pretty nice stuff for a dirt-cheap econobox from a decade back. And look! An AUX jack for your iPod or early-model smartphone. I drove dozens of cheap rental cars for my job with the 24 Hours of Lemons Traveling Circus during the late 2000s, and very few had this feature; until about 2013 or so, you had to travel with your own CDs or one of those horrible wireless FM modulators if you wanted to listen to anything other than the radio in a non-high-roller rental car. Under the hood, a 106-horse Daewoo Ecotec displacing 1.6 liters. This content is hosted by a third party. To view it, please update your privacy preferences. Manage Settings. If there were any television commercials for the G3, I guarantee that they weren't as fun as this one— set in the California high desert, of course— for the SKDM Kalos.