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The Mercedes-Maybach Pullman Guard is a limo with a bulletproof vest

As fabulously plush as the Mercedes-Maybach Pullman is, there is a certain class of individual for which luxury is only part of the equation. Oligarchs, dictators, kingpins of questionable businesses, and probably some legitimate world leaders all love luxury, but they sometimes face some hairy commutes that demand a bit more protection. For them, the answer to their luxury car needs is the armored Pullman Guard. The Mercedes-Maybach Pullman Guard tops the line of S-Class Guard models that also includes the Mercedes-Benz S600 Guard and the Mercedes-Maybach S600 Guard. Like the non-armored Pullman it packs loads of leather, seats with practically infinite adjustability, and redundant gauges for rear passengers. It is also by far the longest S-Class vehicle available, stretching more than 40 inches longer than the next-longest Mercedes-Maybach. This tremendous length allows the Pullman Guard to have four-passenger seating in the rear, with two seats facing two others. It's the perfect place to sign treaties or entertain diplomats. Or, if foreign affairs aren't your speed, it would also be a convenient place to carve up territory, issue ultimatums to enemies, and intimidate dissidents. The Pullman Guard was developed alongside the standard Pullman, and because of that, the added armor does not sacrifice interior space. The armor does affect weight, though. The Pullman Guard weighs over 11,000 pounds. But, in return, the steel plates on the sides and floor, non-Kevlar-brand high-strength fabrics, and polycarbonate-backed windows protect occupants from bullets and explosives. Plus, the Pullman Guard features a twin-turbo V12 that produces 530 horsepower and 612 lb-ft of torque to haul the added ballast around. If a recognized authority is ordering a Pullman Guard, Mercedes also offers sirens, flashing lights, two-way radios, an emergency starter battery, and a loudspeaker system. These items are sure to be useful when trying to navigate seas of protestors in the streets. All of this extra protection will cost you though, and if you have to ask, you definitely can't afford it. But we'll tell you the price anyway. A standard Pullman will run around $500,000 at current exchange rates. For the Guard model, be prepared to shell out about $1.56 million. It's a steep price for sure, but for those whose pampered lives are in danger, it's probably worth it.

Car technology I'm thankful and unthankful for

The past few years have seen a surge of tech features in new vehicles — everything from cloud-based content to semi-autonomous driving. While some of it makes the driving experience better, not all tech is useful or well thought out. Automakers who are adept at drivetrains, ride quality and in-cabin comforts often fail at infotainment interfaces and connectivity. From testing dozens of vehicles each year and in the spirit of gratitude, here are three car tech features I'm thankful — and a trio I could live without. Thanks Connected search: This seems like a no-brainer since everyone already has it on their smartphones, but not all automakers include it in the dashboard and as part of their nav systems. The best ones, such as Toyota Entune, leverage a driver's connected device to search for a range of services and don't charge a subscription or require a separate data plan for the car. I also like how systems like Chrysler Uconnect use Yelp or other apps to find everything from coffee to gas stations and allow searching via voice recognition. Apple CarPlay and Android Auto: It took two of the largest tech companies to get in-dash infotainment right. While they have their disadvantages (you're forced to use Apple Maps with CarPlay, for example), the two smartphone-integration platforms make it easier and safer to use their respective native apps for phoning, messaging, music and more behind the wheel by transferring a familiar UI to the dashboard — with no subscription required. Heated seats and steering wheels: I really appreciate these simple but pleasant features come wintertime. It's easy to get spoiled by bun-warmers on frosty mornings and using a heated steering wheel to warm the cold hands. I recently tested a 2018 Mercedes-Benz E400 Coupe that also had heated armrest that added to a cozy luxury experience. Bonus points for brands like Buick that allow setting seat heaters to turn on when the engine is remotely started. No thanks Automaker infotainment systems: Automakers have probably poured millions into creating their own infotainment systems, with the result largely being frustration on the part of most car owners. And Apple CarPlay and Android Auto coming along to make them obsolete. While some automaker systems, such as Toyota Entune and FCA's Uconnect, are easy and intuitive to use, it seems that high-end systems (I'm looking at you BMW iDrive and Mercedes-Benz COMAND) are the most difficult.

Top horsepower-per-dollar cars in 2017

Bang for the buck. That quasi-scientific statistic is bandied about by motor heads everywhere from classrooms to barrooms, though the truth of the matter is that it's exceedingly complex to measure. A fair performance-per-dollar index would include something like cross-referencing MSRP (Manufacturers Suggested Retail Price) with point-to-point times on a track or driving route, which is obviously hard to do comprehensively. But, for the sheer joy of talking about cars and playing with a big spreadsheet, there's always the horsepower-per-dollar index, which is more straightforward, albeit hilariously flawed. There are vagaries even with this simple formula, of course: MSRP for vehicles can change at a moment's notice, to say nothing of the bottom-line shifting that happens with local deals or showroom negotiation. For this list we're running with the straight MSRP wherever possible, and as recently reported as we can get it. All the vehicles on this list are 2017 models, and all trims are reported where the lowest price and differing power levels intersect. Some choices were made for personal preference and some for sanity, avoiding things like all 48 trim levels of the Ford Transit, all with the same horsepower). If this list were a simple top ten, or even a top fifty, you'd be bored to tears with all the red, white and blue that is represented. Following perfectly with conventional wisdom, American cars really do lead the world where hp/$ is concerned. So, for the sake of variety (and the sheer joy of seeing a minivan 'win' one round of this thing) I've sorted out some top five and bottom five lists for broad power categories. Let's dive in. Less Than 100 Horsepower Okay, okay, this is hardly a category we'll grant you. But we've often tried to click off all the sub-100-hp cars on sale in the US, and making this list gave us an excuse. It also illustrates that none of these smallish vehicles bring cheap horsepower to the table - for that you'll need a motorcycle. The segment-leading Chevy Spark (above) asks just over $139 for each hp, and that Smart Fortwo Electric Drive has hp on sale for about the same price as its very distant family cousin, the Mercedes-Benz SL65 AMG (insert your favorite Smart joke here... we know you want to).