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The Hemi deserves to die | Opinion

Hi. I'm Byron and I love V8s. I want them to stick around for a long, long time. But not all V8s are created equal, and I will not mourn the passing of the modern Hemi. You shouldn't either. While we may agree that its death is untimely, if you ask me, that's only because it came far too late.  Stellantis’ announcement of its new, turbocharged inline-six that is all but guaranteed to kill off the Hemi V8 has led to quite a few half-baked internet takes. The notion being suggested by some, that automotive media were brainwashed into believing the Hemi was in need of replacement, is so far divorced from reality that I openly guffawed at the notion. Journalists have been challenging Chrysler, FCA and now Stellantis for years to deliver better high-performance engines. The response has always been the same: “Why?” Why replace a heavy V8 with a lighter, all-aluminum one? Why repackage powertrains for smaller footprints and better handling vehicles? Why be better when “good enough” sells really, really well? I too mourn the departure of good gasoline-burning engines, but since when was the Hemi one? HereÂ’s a quiz: Name every SRT model with an all-aluminum engine. TimeÂ’s up. If you named any, you failed. They donÂ’t exist. This isnÂ’t GMÂ’s compact, lightweight small-block, nor is it a DOHC Ford Coyote that at least revs high enough to justify its larger footprint. The Hemi is an overweight marketing exercise that happened to be in the right place at the right time. That time was 2003, when Chrysler was still Chrysler — except it was Daimler-Chrysler and the "merger of equals" was doing a bang-up job of bleeding the company's cash reserves dry while doing virtually nothing to address its mounting legacy costs. "That thang got a Hemi?" was emblematic of the whimsical, nostalgia-driven marketing of the colonial half of the "marriage made in heaven." That was 20 years ago. 20 years prior to that, emissions-choked American V8s were circling the drain faster than a soapy five-carat engagement ring in a truck stop sink.

FCA inline-six rumored to be real, headed for Jeep Wagoneer

In September, Allpar reported that that clues being dropped at Fiat- Chrysler headquarters, in the carmaker's factories, and on engineer resumes pointed to the development of an inline six-cylinder engine. The site has just proclaimed the rumor is reality, writing that the straight-six, "turbocharged to meet or beat 5.7 Hemi power ratings, with a smoother torque curve, is on the way." The motor's first outing is expected to be either the next-generation Jeep Grand Cherokee, debuting perhaps next year, or the Jeep Wagoneer, debuting in 2020 or 2021. "Tornado" is the purported codename for the power plant said to be just under three liters in displacement, expanding the family begun with the Global Medium Engine 2.0-liter turbo codenamed Hurricane. Engine bay constraints and a long use horizon mean engineers won't simply add two more cylinders to the GME, however. Allpar says the brief is to keep the Tornado GME-T6 — the alphanumeric for "turbocharged six" — no more than three inches longer than the Tigershark 2.4-liter four-cylinder. That means "major design changes" that could include a space-saving head, more closely spaced cylinders, and no cylinder liners. An FCA division called Comau could be called on for its "SmartSpray" plasma lining technology. Allpar muses that the standard version of the engine for Chrysler, Dodge, Jeep, and Ram could get a single twin-scroll turbocharger. Performance trims for Alfa Romeo and Maserati could get different heads and maybe twin turbos, an SRT version might also get both those tweaks. History shows that the Italian versions would make changes to the block, as well. Even so, the Tornado would be less expensive than any Ferrari-supplied V6. A straight-six would put FCA in company with current adopters BMW and Mercedes-Benz, future users like Jaguar, and perhaps Aston Martin. The engine would span the widest range of use cases in the U.S. carmaker's portfolio, though. Potential applications include being a base engine for Ram trucks, serving double duty as a base engine and 5.7-liter Hemi replacement for the Dodge Charger and Challenger, working in the high-end Jeeps, and as a properly hot trim — with Ferrari-designed heads — in the luxury Italian sports cars. The Alfa Romeo Giulia begs for just such motivation to fill the gap between the 280-hp, $42,695 Ti Sport RWD and the 505-hp, $73,700 Giulia Quadrifoglio RWD. And a twin-turbo inline-six in a Maserati Alfieri would stack up nicely with the Germans.

SUV lifts you up where you belong and leapfrogs traffic jams

So, you're at a dead stop, stuck in traffic, when it pulls up behind you. It appears to be a garden-variety Jeep Grand Cherokee. That is, until its undercarriage lifts the Jeep 9 feet into the air, and the whole rig straddles you and the cars ahead of you in a bid for open road. The car is called the Hum Rider, and no, you can't buy one at the Jeep store. It's a one-off publicity stunt intended to promote Verizon Telematic's Hum platform, which plugs into a car's OBD port and for $10 a month provides vehicle diagnostics, roadside assistance, location tracking, and speed and geo-fencing alerts. (Not sure if Hum tracks vertical leaps.) Verizon enlisted viral marketing agency Thinkmodo to promote the Hum, and this idea was head and shoulders above the rest. "We saw this one [and said], 'Wow, that is crazy,' said Jay Jaffin, Verizon's VP of marketing. "We loved the idea." Thinkmodo co-founder James Percelay told Mashable that they wanted to represent the upgrade Hum brings to cars. So the car goes up. Get it? Here's the star of this story: Hum Rider's designer, Scott Beverly, has done visual effects for Hollywood in The Dark Knight, Inception and Interstellar. He works for A2Zf, a Lancaster, Calif., design and engineering firm that keeps the world filled with Batmobiles, Red Bull Can Cars and beautifully designed VWs and Audis. A2Zf has also worked with NASA on X-planes and with Northrup on the B2 bomber, so compared to those projects, a car-straddling car is hardly a stretch. So what does it take to make a car do this? How about: Over 300 feet of hydraulic lines that operate everything - the lift mechanism, steering, braking and power to the drivetrain. A gas-powered Honda generator under the hood that powers hydraulic pumps pushing out 900 pounds of pressure. A lot of mechanical structure. Hum Rider weighs 8,500 pounds, almost double a standard Grand Cherokee. Heavy-duty truck tires to support all that weight. Four undercarriage cameras that allow the driver to see and clear what's beneath him. What did it cost? They're not saying. What would it be worth, the next time you're stuck in traffic? Priceless.