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Out With A Bang: Hummer dealer giving away free shotgun with every new vehicle purchase

Lynch Hummer dealership in Chesterfield, Missouri - Click above for image gallery
You've heard of art imitating life? Well how about life imitating war? That's another story entirely, but not so far fetched when it comes to the Hummer. The sport-'ute that met the public eye during Operation Desert Storm has all but completely gone through its entire life cycle in the intervening years: first as a military-only vehicle, the original model became available to the public, then GM bought the rights and started churning out pickup-based H2s and H3s, the U.S. armed forces went back Iraq, the original H1 was discontinued and now GM is preparing to wind down the brand entirely. But not before one last pistol-shootin' hoorah, courtesy of the one dealership that arguably sees the truck for what it is more than any other: Lynch Hummer.
The St. Louis-area franchise made headlines last year when they started filling their emptying showroom with gun racks, selling firearms to make up for dwindling sales in the gigantic SUVs. Now the dealership is connecting the dots with a one-of-a-kind promotion: Buy a Hummer, get a free shotgun.

Mil-Spec 006 Hummer H1 born into the darkness

Mil-Spec Automotive is up to build number six of its Hummer H1s, this one a customer commission for someone with the last name "Bane." This marks the halfway point in the Launch Edition series of 12 models that will run through to next year. Per customer request, the template started with Build 002, also a four-door slantback, but deviates in a few functional ways. That starts with the four-door slantback variant, but this one gets a much larger rear window. The Bold Body and Tire Package stretches horizontal footprint by eight inches, the bodywork by seven inches. Fender flares hulk over 20-inch gun-black rims wearing 38-inch Nitto Grappler tires. Build 006 shuns the executive interior package on Build 002, putting its cushiness on the outside with the Air-Ride Package. That installs eight-way adjustable shocks all around and automatic ride height adjustment. Sounds like the buyer could need it, since the newest unit also gets the 12K Package that ups GVWR to 12,000 pounds, with beefier axles, springs and braking. A 6.6-liter Duramax diesel sits beneath the $1,299 functional hood scoop, the oil-burner's output rated at 500 horsepower and 1,000 pound-feet of torque. And no road trip to Sonora or Medellin would be complete without a 12,000-pound Warn winch, lavish front brush guard and heavy duty rear step bumper, aluminum snorkel, 60-inch overhead light bar, and Paracord interior door handles. We'd think a locking front axle would be a given on this kind of rig, but apparently this H1 makes do with an ARB air locker on the rear. The brief for the design was "simple yet dramatic." Job done, we'd say, with Build 006 terrorizing the ground like black thunder. The price gets attention just as well: $295,039. This kind of drama doesn't come cheap. Featured Gallery Mil-Spec 006 Hummer H1 View 13 Photos News Source: Mil-Spec Automotive Hummer Truck Luxury Off-Road Vehicles Special and Limited Editions hummer h1

Are orphan cars better deals?

Most folks don't know a Saturn Aura from an Oldsmobile Aurora. Those of you who are immersed in the labyrinth of automobilia know that both cars were testaments to the mediocrity that was pre-bankruptcy General Motors, and that both brands are now long gone. But everybody else? Not so much. By the same token, there are some excellent cars and trucks that don't raise an eyebrow simply because they were sold under brands that are no longer being marketed. Orphan brands no longer get any marketing love, and because of that they can be alarmingly cheap. Case in point, take a look at how a 2010 Saturn Outlook compares with its siblings, the GMC Acadia and Buick Enclave. According to the Manheim Market Report, the Saturn will sell at a wholesale auto auction for around $3,500 less than the comparably equipped Buick or GMC. Part of the reason for this price gap is that most large independent dealerships, such as Carmax, make it a point to avoid buying cars with orphaned badges. Right now if you go to Carmax's site, you'll find that there are more models from Toyota's Scion sub-brand than Mercury, Saab, Pontiac, Hummer, and Saturn combined. This despite the fact that these brands collectively sold in the millions over the last ten years while Scion has rarely been able to realize a six-figure annual sales figure for most of its history. That is the brutal truth of today's car market. When the chips are down, used-car shoppers are nearly as conservative as their new-car-buying counterparts. Unfamiliarity breeds contempt. Contempt leads to fear. Fear leads to anger, and pretty soon you wind up with an older, beat-up Mazda MX-5 in your driveway instead of looking up a newer Pontiac Solstice or Saturn Sky. There are tons of other reasons why orphan cars have trouble selling in today's market. Worries about the cost of repair and the availability of parts hang over the industry's lost toys like a cloud of dust over Pigpen. Yet any common diagnostic repair database, such as Alldata, will have a complete framework for your car's repair and maintenance, and everyone from junkyards to auto parts stores to eBay and Amazon stock tens of thousands of parts. This makes some orphan cars mindblowingly awesome deals if you're willing to shop in the bargain bins of the used-car market. Consider a Suzuki Kizashi with a manual transmission. No, really.