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24 Hours of Le Mans live update part one

We tasked surfing journalist Rory Parker to watch this year's live stream of the 2016 24 Hours of Le Mans. What follows is an experiment to experience the world's greatest endurance race from the perspective of a motorsports novice with a profanity-laden stream-of-consciousness writing style. Parker lives in Hawaii and spends far more time spearfishing than behind the wheel of a car. Jump ahead to Part Two here, and Part Three here. Big Money and billionaire hobbyists and rockets on wheels. Jets belching French color smoke overhead. Balance of power fuckery. Plenty of water on the ground this morning. Absurdly expensive motorcars lined up in the pissing rain. Fast twitch lunatics behind the wheel. Chomping at the bit. Let's go let's go let's go! Race hasn't even started, Ford #67 maybe dealing with clutch issues. Karma? That beautiful bastard Brad Pitt's out on the track, waving the tricolor flag. It's a standing start in "Noah's Ark" weather and the 2016 24 hours of Le Mans is go! First lap takes place behind the safety car, finished in a record setting 8 minutes 27 seconds. Wrong kind of record maybe, but this is the first time I've set my mind to watching the whole damn race. Feel like I'm part of history. 3:00 AM on Kauai, a little too early for life. Sucking down coffee like a maniac. Don't fall back asleep. Got my hands on four hours of rest, how much more can I need? Better be enough for the next twenty four hours. Gonna get kinda punchy toward the end. Jason Statham on the scene. Four feet of solid muscle, non-existent hairline. Lovely wife peanut gallery sitting next to me calls him the "best race car drive in the world." Not sure if she's serious. Toss up, could go either way. Statham's a funny guy. Heir to the Bruce Willis comedy action crown. Really good in the movie where the fat comedy lady plays a spy. Ford's on the road. Problems with gearbox pressure, apparently. Nearing a half hour in and the safety car is still on the track. Hellish amounts of water on the ground, in the air. Visibility is garbage. Getting better. Twitter wags, "Not with a bang but a whimper." Just building suspense. Mother Nature felt like killing some people today, race officials need to dial back the drivers until it dries a tad. Normal inclination would've seen 'em flying, guaranteed early lap wrecks. Sad news for that bloodthirsty part of my lizard brain I try and keep suppressed. Good news for humanity. #12 in the pit for a bit.

Ford EcoBoost successful because of Soviet laser weapons system expert?

Mike Kluzner is a man of many talents. Not only is he the software engineer responsible for fuel system diagnostics for Ford globally, he "got his start designing laser weapon systems capable of disabling the navigation systems of enemy satellites" for the former Soviet Union. Quite a résumé, wouldn't you say?
You may be asking yourself the same question that popped into our minds upon reading about Mr. Kluzner: What do laser weapon systems have to do with Ford and its EcoBoost engines? We'll let the man answer himself. "The same process for analyzing key physical relationships works for what we do today in engine combustion, catalyst chemistry and mechanics," says Kluzner. "These are all part of Ford's software engineering expertise." Who are we to argue?
Ford also employs an engineer who previously designed software to detect damage to the heat tiles on the International Space Station, as well as one who's past work involved particle physics, says the automaker in the press release below. David Bell (pictured above right), global boost system controls engineer for Ford, describes the software running EcoBoost as "the secret sauce" that makes the technology work as the driver intends and demands.

Bomb threat closes Ford Romeo Engine Plant [UPDATE]

UPDATE: Ford has released the following statement about what's happening at the factory: "The Ford Romeo Engine Plant was reopened at 12:47 PM after law enforcement investigated and cleared the site. The afternoon and evening shifts are expected to report at their usual start times. Further questions on the investigation by law enforcement can be directed to the Romeo Police Department." Due to a bomb threat, Ford has evacuated its Romeo Engine Plant, and law enforcement is on the scene. According to the Detroit News, police with bomb-sniffing dogs are searching the building, which covers over 2 million square feet. Ford spokesperson Mike Moran wouldn't disclose to Autoblog how the threat was received but said that it came in between 7:00 a.m. and 7:30 a.m. Eastern on July 30. "The day shift was sent home," he said. According to the Detroit News, the second shift was also asked not to come in. About 500 people work at the plant, Moran indicated. At this time, Moran said that there hadn't yet been an update from law enforcement whether anything had been found in their search. The Romeo Police Department confirms to Autoblog that it's handling the investigation. However, the authorities wouldn't comment further about what is happening at the plant at this time. Related Video: