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Ford Explorer Jackson Pollock Edition results in trip to hospital

Among the many useful pieces of driving advice we've taken to heart over the years, "Safely secure all cargo" is etched pretty high on our personal stone tablets. We've had a couple of frustrating moments over the years (numerous wonky cupholders and too-tall lidded cups; a radar detector that released its suction cups and dashed itself below the dashboard, etc.), but never anything like the scene above.
These photos above come courtesy of the Washington State Patrol, and they show the unfortunate aftermath of a driver, his dog, and his Ford Explorer after it crashed near the town of Belfair last week. According to reports, the man was schlepping five-gallon containers of paint inside his vehicle when he was involved in an unexplained accident. It's not clear what triggered the crash, but the impromptu abstract painting covered the whole of the interior, including the driver and his faithful companion.
The man was transported to a local hospital for minor injuries, and his dog was cleaned and later taken to a humane society.

Mopar Hellephant is sold out, but here are 4 other awesome crate V8s to try

Despite a relatively enormous $30,000 price tag, Mopar's 1,000-horsepower supercharged Hellephant crate engine sold out in just 48 hours. Some enthusiasts may have missed out on the crazy engine due to lack of funds, or they just assumed there would still be some Hellephants down the line. But worry not, swap-happy gearheads. There are plenty of V8s in the world to pick from, and we highlighted four favorites. They're not as powerful, but they're all cheaper, and still have a lot to offer. Mopar 6.2L Hellcrate Odds are a lot of prospective Hellephant buyers were Mopar fans to begin with, so we'll start the list with the next-most-potent offering: the Hellcrate. This is the same supercharged 6.2-liter V8 found under the hood of the Dodge Charger and Challenger Hellcats and the Grand Cherokee Trackhawk. It makes 707 horsepower and 650 pound-feet of torque like those cars, too. It's also about $10,000 cheaper than the Hellephant engine at $20,020, and that leftover money can be used to finish the project or for aftermarket upgrades to get it closer to the Hellephant's output. GM LS9 6.2L The Hellcrate isn't the only factory supercharged crate engine on the market. From General Motors comes the supercharged 6.2-liter LS9 V8. This is the engine that was used in the C6 Corvette ZR1. At 638 horsepower and 604 pound-feet of torque, it doesn't make as much power or torque as the Hellcrate. But it does boast a dry sump oil system. So instead of pumping oil out of a pan at the bottom, the engine uses an oil tank mounted remotely that pumps oil into the engine. This means the engine is shorter overall, and can be mounted lower for a better center of gravity. It also means that there's almost no risk of running the engine dry in hard cornering, as could happen with a normal oil sump where the oil can slosh to the side without the oil pump. Basically, it offers some major benefits if you want supercharged V8 power for a road course car. It's also a tad cheaper than the Hellcrate at $18,149. But get one while you can, because GM is only selling what's left from when it was building the C6 ZR1. Ford Aluminator 5.2XS Our pick from the Blue Oval lacks a supercharger, but it's still pretty sweet.

Justin Bell makes a horrible policeman

If you're wondering what type of person makes a good police officer, it seems a racecar driver doesn't. Let us rephrase that: Justin Bell, a racecar driver and the host of Motor Trend's World's Fastest Car Show, recently got behind the wheel of a 5.0-liter Ford Mustang police car with Sergeant Daniel Shrubb, co-founder of DRAGG (Drag Racing Against Gangs and Graffiti), and proved that his high-performance-driving skillset is a bit too aggressive for police duty.
While it's easy to get carried away in a Mustang GT, a patrol car driver must maintain some sort of restraint while pursuing a criminal, so as not to come off as a reckless driver to the public. We'll admit, some pursuit techniques are counter-intuitive to performance driving (stay off the gas in a lane-change exercise?), but Bell's judicious use of the handbrake can't be normal procedure.
Watch "The One With The Ford Mustang 5.0 Police Car" (yes, we caught the Friends reference too) below to see some shenanigans in one of Michigan's finest patrol cars.