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24 Hours of Le Mans live update part one

We tasked surfing journalist Rory Parker to watch this year's live stream of the 2016 24 Hours of Le Mans. What follows is an experiment to experience the world's greatest endurance race from the perspective of a motorsports novice with a profanity-laden stream-of-consciousness writing style. Parker lives in Hawaii and spends far more time spearfishing than behind the wheel of a car. Jump ahead to Part Two here, and Part Three here. Big Money and billionaire hobbyists and rockets on wheels. Jets belching French color smoke overhead. Balance of power fuckery. Plenty of water on the ground this morning. Absurdly expensive motorcars lined up in the pissing rain. Fast twitch lunatics behind the wheel. Chomping at the bit. Let's go let's go let's go! Race hasn't even started, Ford #67 maybe dealing with clutch issues. Karma? That beautiful bastard Brad Pitt's out on the track, waving the tricolor flag. It's a standing start in "Noah's Ark" weather and the 2016 24 hours of Le Mans is go! First lap takes place behind the safety car, finished in a record setting 8 minutes 27 seconds. Wrong kind of record maybe, but this is the first time I've set my mind to watching the whole damn race. Feel like I'm part of history. 3:00 AM on Kauai, a little too early for life. Sucking down coffee like a maniac. Don't fall back asleep. Got my hands on four hours of rest, how much more can I need? Better be enough for the next twenty four hours. Gonna get kinda punchy toward the end. Jason Statham on the scene. Four feet of solid muscle, non-existent hairline. Lovely wife peanut gallery sitting next to me calls him the "best race car drive in the world." Not sure if she's serious. Toss up, could go either way. Statham's a funny guy. Heir to the Bruce Willis comedy action crown. Really good in the movie where the fat comedy lady plays a spy. Ford's on the road. Problems with gearbox pressure, apparently. Nearing a half hour in and the safety car is still on the track. Hellish amounts of water on the ground, in the air. Visibility is garbage. Getting better. Twitter wags, "Not with a bang but a whimper." Just building suspense. Mother Nature felt like killing some people today, race officials need to dial back the drivers until it dries a tad. Normal inclination would've seen 'em flying, guaranteed early lap wrecks. Sad news for that bloodthirsty part of my lizard brain I try and keep suppressed. Good news for humanity. #12 in the pit for a bit.

GM won't pay owners of recalled cars for lost value

Kenneth Feinberg, the man in charge of the General Motors compensation fund dealing with the its widespread ignition switch woes, has issued an informal, two-letter response to the plaintiffs in more than 70 lawsuits seeking redress for lost resale value of their Cobalts: "No." The cases were recently combined into one, but Feinberg told The Detroit News that the fund will deal "only with death and physical injury claims," and that "perceived diminished value" will get no consideration.
ALG, the firm specializing in establishing residual values, determined that Cobalt owners had lost $300 compared to the segment competition and doesn't envision any long-term effects from the recall situation. Feinberg's statement comes in advance of public details on how the compensation fund will work and adheres to GM's long-held position on the matter. The company has already asked a judge to throw out such suits using the pre-bankruptcy defense, even as it stopped using that defense in cases of injury and death.
With plenty of potential gain from the GM suit, however, don't expect the plaintiffs to give up yet. When Toyota was sued for the same reason during the unintended acceleration debacle, it eventually settled the case for between $1 billion and $1.4 billion just to get it over with. Since the 85 law firms involved in the Toyota litigation took home more than $250 million of that total, we shouldn't expect the attorneys to give up on a GM payout, either.

2016 Chevrolet Camaro powers up, slims down

Don't be fooled by its familiar appearance, the 2016 Chevrolet Camaro is vastly different than its iconic predecessors. It has a new chassis, a fresh engine lineup, and is loaded with clever technologies that promise to invigorate and improve the sixth generation of Chevy's legendary sports car. It was revealed Saturday before a crowd of enthusiastic Camaro revelers on Belle Isle in Detroit. Redesigning the sports coupe was a heady task, especially as its archrivals, the Ford Mustang and Dodge Challenger, drive better and are more powerful than ever. But the new Camaro is aiming to be the best combination of handling and raw performance, with quick acceleration and competitive fuel economy. "Redesigning the Camaro is thrilling and challenging all at once, but the secret is to offer something more," Mark Reuss, General Motors executive vice president of product development, said in a statement. It all began with a weight-loss plan. The new Camaro shed more than 200 pounds compared with the outgoing car, with 133 pounds coming from a lighter body-in-white. Then engineers culled weight nearly everywhere, using aluminum for the instrumental panel frame and some suspension components to trim as much fat as possible. The slimmer body rests on new bones. The Camaro's rear-wheel-drive platform is lighter and stiffer in a bid to improve handling. It's a modified version of the underpinnings used by the Cadillac ATS, though about 70 percent of the architecture is unique to the Camaro. Chevy said structural rigidity is improved by 28 percent. As you'll see, healthy doses of Cadillac and Corvette technologies have been used to bolster the Camaro's drive character and performance. The new car is also expected to handle better thanks to a slightly smaller footprint. It is about two inches shorter in length, with most of that due to the more compact wheelbase. It's also an inch shorter in height and an inch slimmer in width. So yes, the Camaro will be leaner, but it will still be plenty mean. The Camaro SS tops the range (for now) with the Corvette's 6.2-liter V8 pushing put 455 horsepower and 455 pound-feet of torque. Known as the LT1, is has a cast aluminum block and cast aluminum cylinder heads, and it's fortified with direct injection, variable valve timing, and cylinder deactivation. About 20 percent of the engine's parts are said to be unique to the Camaro, including the exhaust manifolds.