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24 Hours of Le Mans live update part three

We tasked surfing journalist Rory Parker to watch this year's live stream of the 2016 24 Hours of Le Mans. What follows is an experiment to experience the world's greatest endurance race from the perspective of a motorsports novice. Parker lives in Hawaii and has an associates degree in dropping f-bombs. For Part One, click here. Part Two is here. Really hoped I'd be able to grab an hour or two of sleep before the sun rose over Le Mans. Dark dark dark, couldn't figure out what was going on. Commentators struggled at times as well. But I couldn't do it. Endurance racing is just too exciting. Grabs my attention with both fists. Screams, "watch these men DRIVE!" A neighbor invited me over for drinks. Told him, "Can't do it, gotta watch Le Mans!" Maybe not exactly. I'll admit, at times my attention wandered. I did a load of laundry. Ate some snacks. Half listened to the commentary. Threw a hump at my wife. I learned that Patrick Long, driving #88, is big brother to Kevin "Spanky" Long. Spanky's a bit of a legend in the skate world. Always weird how top notch talent can run in families like that. Kind of surprised I've never heard that before. Worked for a skate mag for a years, met Spanky a handful of times. Someone must've told me that he has an older brother who drives race cars. Dash cams at night are scary. High powered headlights in the P1s reach almost 300 meters. Cars outrun that distance easy. Seems like they're just steering into the black and hoping for the best. But that can't be the case. People'd be dropping dead let and right. Very amused by how the guys in GT are like, "Dude, stop flashing your fucking lights before you pass." But the LMP's are all, "Suck a dick! I do what I want." Top three stayed neck and neck nearly all night long. As the sun gets ready to creep back over the horizon the top three are separated by only eleven and a half seconds. Toyota 5 and 6, Porsche 2. Audi 8 is two laps behind Porsche, beleaguered 7 is dealing with constant trouble eleven laps from the front. GTE Pro sees Ferrari 82 in first, Ford 68 and 69 right behind. To win you've gotta drive perfect, build perfect. Fours cars retired so far. I'm beginning to appreciate the endurance aspect a little more fully. Only really considered the drivers at first. The mental and physical stress driving these cars at these speeds at length would inflict. But keeping the damn things running is the real deal. To win you've gotta drive perfect, build perfect.

24 Hours of Le Mans live update part one

We tasked surfing journalist Rory Parker to watch this year's live stream of the 2016 24 Hours of Le Mans. What follows is an experiment to experience the world's greatest endurance race from the perspective of a motorsports novice with a profanity-laden stream-of-consciousness writing style. Parker lives in Hawaii and spends far more time spearfishing than behind the wheel of a car. Jump ahead to Part Two here, and Part Three here. Big Money and billionaire hobbyists and rockets on wheels. Jets belching French color smoke overhead. Balance of power fuckery. Plenty of water on the ground this morning. Absurdly expensive motorcars lined up in the pissing rain. Fast twitch lunatics behind the wheel. Chomping at the bit. Let's go let's go let's go! Race hasn't even started, Ford #67 maybe dealing with clutch issues. Karma? That beautiful bastard Brad Pitt's out on the track, waving the tricolor flag. It's a standing start in "Noah's Ark" weather and the 2016 24 hours of Le Mans is go! First lap takes place behind the safety car, finished in a record setting 8 minutes 27 seconds. Wrong kind of record maybe, but this is the first time I've set my mind to watching the whole damn race. Feel like I'm part of history. 3:00 AM on Kauai, a little too early for life. Sucking down coffee like a maniac. Don't fall back asleep. Got my hands on four hours of rest, how much more can I need? Better be enough for the next twenty four hours. Gonna get kinda punchy toward the end. Jason Statham on the scene. Four feet of solid muscle, non-existent hairline. Lovely wife peanut gallery sitting next to me calls him the "best race car drive in the world." Not sure if she's serious. Toss up, could go either way. Statham's a funny guy. Heir to the Bruce Willis comedy action crown. Really good in the movie where the fat comedy lady plays a spy. Ford's on the road. Problems with gearbox pressure, apparently. Nearing a half hour in and the safety car is still on the track. Hellish amounts of water on the ground, in the air. Visibility is garbage. Getting better. Twitter wags, "Not with a bang but a whimper." Just building suspense. Mother Nature felt like killing some people today, race officials need to dial back the drivers until it dries a tad. Normal inclination would've seen 'em flying, guaranteed early lap wrecks. Sad news for that bloodthirsty part of my lizard brain I try and keep suppressed. Good news for humanity. #12 in the pit for a bit.

GM trucks get hybrid versions, but you'll probably never see one

A few years ago, General Motors sold hybrid versions of its Chevy Silverado and GMC Sierra pickups. They weren't very good, using GM's old two-mode hybrid system that resulted in only negligible fuel economy gains. But GM's trying again, launching eAssist models of the 2016 Silverado and Sierra that are said to offer 2-mpg improvements in city, highway, and combined fuel economy ratings. Problem is, you probably won't be able to get one. Only 700 eAssist trucks will be made for the 2016 model year – 500 Silverados and 200 Sierras. When you consider that GM moved 824,683 examples of its light-duty pickups in 2015, this small run represents 0.08-percent of all Silverado/Sierra production, and GM says it "will monitor the market closely ... and adjust as appropriate moving forward." But that's not the only limitation. The eAssist trucks will only be sold through California dealers. For the Silverado, eAssist can only be optioned on the 1500 Crew Cab 1LT 2WD model, and for the Sierra, the fuel-saving technology is solely available on the 1500 SLT Crew Cab 2WD model with the SLT Premium Plus package. Granted, in terms of the Sierra, that means you get niceties like LED headlights and taillights, Apple CarPlay and Android Auto, Bose premium audio, heated seats and steering wheel, lane keep assist, and more. In the trucks, eAssist combines a small electric motor and 0.45-kWh battery pack with the pickups' 5.3-liter V8. GM estimates total output of 355 horsepower and 383 pound-feet of torque – no more horsepower than the non-eAssist trucks, but three more pound-feet of torque. GM says the eAssist trucks can tow up to 9,400 pounds, and the battery only adds 100 pounds to the trucks' weight. The electric motor provides 13 hp and 44 lb-ft of torque for a boost of acceleration off the line, or during passing. It also allows the engine to run in four-cylinder mode for longer periods of time. eAssist uses regenerative braking to help power onboard electrical systems, and adds start/stop to the powertrain. Finally, the so-equipped trucks have a six-percent improvement in aerodynamics, thanks to a soft tonneau cover and active grille shutters in the front fascia. Great news is, the eAssist option is relatively inexpensive, only costing $500. But good luck getting your hands on one.