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24 Hours of Le Mans live update part one

We tasked surfing journalist Rory Parker to watch this year's live stream of the 2016 24 Hours of Le Mans. What follows is an experiment to experience the world's greatest endurance race from the perspective of a motorsports novice with a profanity-laden stream-of-consciousness writing style. Parker lives in Hawaii and spends far more time spearfishing than behind the wheel of a car. Jump ahead to Part Two here, and Part Three here. Big Money and billionaire hobbyists and rockets on wheels. Jets belching French color smoke overhead. Balance of power fuckery. Plenty of water on the ground this morning. Absurdly expensive motorcars lined up in the pissing rain. Fast twitch lunatics behind the wheel. Chomping at the bit. Let's go let's go let's go! Race hasn't even started, Ford #67 maybe dealing with clutch issues. Karma? That beautiful bastard Brad Pitt's out on the track, waving the tricolor flag. It's a standing start in "Noah's Ark" weather and the 2016 24 hours of Le Mans is go! First lap takes place behind the safety car, finished in a record setting 8 minutes 27 seconds. Wrong kind of record maybe, but this is the first time I've set my mind to watching the whole damn race. Feel like I'm part of history. 3:00 AM on Kauai, a little too early for life. Sucking down coffee like a maniac. Don't fall back asleep. Got my hands on four hours of rest, how much more can I need? Better be enough for the next twenty four hours. Gonna get kinda punchy toward the end. Jason Statham on the scene. Four feet of solid muscle, non-existent hairline. Lovely wife peanut gallery sitting next to me calls him the "best race car drive in the world." Not sure if she's serious. Toss up, could go either way. Statham's a funny guy. Heir to the Bruce Willis comedy action crown. Really good in the movie where the fat comedy lady plays a spy. Ford's on the road. Problems with gearbox pressure, apparently. Nearing a half hour in and the safety car is still on the track. Hellish amounts of water on the ground, in the air. Visibility is garbage. Getting better. Twitter wags, "Not with a bang but a whimper." Just building suspense. Mother Nature felt like killing some people today, race officials need to dial back the drivers until it dries a tad. Normal inclination would've seen 'em flying, guaranteed early lap wrecks. Sad news for that bloodthirsty part of my lizard brain I try and keep suppressed. Good news for humanity. #12 in the pit for a bit.

Watch a 2015 Corvette Z06 run the quarter in 11.7 seconds

We're not writing about this because it's an amazing run, we're writing about it because it appears to be the first run. Someone took a 2015 Corvette Z06 to Royal Purple Raceway in Baytown, Texas and blasted it down through the quarter mile. It's still wearing the dealer number in wax pen on the windshield and dealer plates, so this example is fresh from the mold. It's also a seven-speed manual. General Motors said the row-your-own Z06 can do the 'strip in 11.2 seconds, and they undoubtedly had a professional driver and more than one run to set that time. To have Just Some Guy show up at the raceway and do an 11.7 at 120.54 mph on his first run means we expect good things to come as Z06s get delivered to their owners. Check out the run in the video.

GM's Super Bowl ad puts Will Ferrell and EVs in Netflix shows

GM is kicking off the automotive Super Bowl commercial season with EVs and Will Ferrell. The ad highlights GM's new relationship with Netflix in which the automaker's many upcoming electric cars and trucks will appear. More specifically, the ad has Will Ferrell appearing in settings from major Netflix TV movies and shows such as "Army of the Dead" and "Squid Game," talking about how there's no reason not to have EVs there. And then he also appears with EVs in shows where they don't make sense, such as "Bridgerton" and "Stranger Things," but only to reassure people that Netflix won't be shoving new cars where they don't fit in. The GM lineup on display is pretty varied, with the GMC Sierra EV, Hummer EV, Chevy Blazer EV, and Cadillac Lyriq all making appearances. Most interesting is the Chevy Silverado EV Trail Boss in the "Stranger Things" part. Chevy hasn't said much about it beyond a teaser and saying it'll be a late addition to the line. It looks pretty much like the truck in the teaser with the black plastic front fascia and fender flares. But it gets different wheels, Trail Boss badges on the rear pillars, and a gloss black roof like the RST trim. Related video: 2024 Chevy Silverado EV | 2022 Chicago Auto Show