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24 Hours of Le Mans live update part one

We tasked surfing journalist Rory Parker to watch this year's live stream of the 2016 24 Hours of Le Mans. What follows is an experiment to experience the world's greatest endurance race from the perspective of a motorsports novice with a profanity-laden stream-of-consciousness writing style. Parker lives in Hawaii and spends far more time spearfishing than behind the wheel of a car. Jump ahead to Part Two here, and Part Three here. Big Money and billionaire hobbyists and rockets on wheels. Jets belching French color smoke overhead. Balance of power fuckery. Plenty of water on the ground this morning. Absurdly expensive motorcars lined up in the pissing rain. Fast twitch lunatics behind the wheel. Chomping at the bit. Let's go let's go let's go! Race hasn't even started, Ford #67 maybe dealing with clutch issues. Karma? That beautiful bastard Brad Pitt's out on the track, waving the tricolor flag. It's a standing start in "Noah's Ark" weather and the 2016 24 hours of Le Mans is go! First lap takes place behind the safety car, finished in a record setting 8 minutes 27 seconds. Wrong kind of record maybe, but this is the first time I've set my mind to watching the whole damn race. Feel like I'm part of history. 3:00 AM on Kauai, a little too early for life. Sucking down coffee like a maniac. Don't fall back asleep. Got my hands on four hours of rest, how much more can I need? Better be enough for the next twenty four hours. Gonna get kinda punchy toward the end. Jason Statham on the scene. Four feet of solid muscle, non-existent hairline. Lovely wife peanut gallery sitting next to me calls him the "best race car drive in the world." Not sure if she's serious. Toss up, could go either way. Statham's a funny guy. Heir to the Bruce Willis comedy action crown. Really good in the movie where the fat comedy lady plays a spy. Ford's on the road. Problems with gearbox pressure, apparently. Nearing a half hour in and the safety car is still on the track. Hellish amounts of water on the ground, in the air. Visibility is garbage. Getting better. Twitter wags, "Not with a bang but a whimper." Just building suspense. Mother Nature felt like killing some people today, race officials need to dial back the drivers until it dries a tad. Normal inclination would've seen 'em flying, guaranteed early lap wrecks. Sad news for that bloodthirsty part of my lizard brain I try and keep suppressed. Good news for humanity. #12 in the pit for a bit.

Autoblog fan favorite car ads from Super Bowl XLIX

Super Bowl XLIX is in the books, and the New England Patriots emerged victorious. Of course, if you're like us, the big game wasn't so much about the battle between the east coast and west, so much as a fight between the world's automotive advertisers. We collected and collated all of last night's new ads and put them together for you to vote on. And yes, we're limiting this year's contest to last night's new features. That's why you aren't seeing Dodge's epic Wisdom among our collection of commercials, and it's a similar story with Chevrolet's Truck Guy Focus Group series, which highlights the new Colorado. You can still vote for your favorites. We won't be closing the voting on our Super Bowl page, so while the winners and losers are correct as of this writing, it's entirely possible that there could be some changes in the rankings as time goes on. So, without any further ado, here are the winning ads based on your voting. Nissan: With Dad Fiat: Ready For Action Jeep: Beautiful Lands BMW: Newfangled Idea Mercedes-Benz: Fable NASCAR: America Start Your Engines As for those ads that failed to impact you, loyal readers, Toyota was the absolute, undisputed loser. The Japanese brand ran four ads in total – two for Toyota and two for Lexus – and all of them have negative tallies as of this writing. Lexus' Make Some Noise and Lets Play and Toyota's One Bold Choice and My Bold Dad both had very weak showings among the commercials that aired, although they weren't alone. Neither Mazda nor Kia scored particularly well, despite featuring celebrity magic act Penn and Teller and former James Bond, Pierce Brosnan, respectively. Chevrolet was the winner of the losers, as of our writing, recording the fewest downvotes for its audience-punking The Big Game ad. If you want to take a second look at the losing ads, you can head back to our Super Bowl page for the complete collection. But for now, head into Comments and let us know what you think of the results.

2019 Toyota Corolla vs. compact hatchbacks: How they compare

So you've read what we thought about the 2019 Toyota Corolla Hatchback. Oh, you didn't? Well, click to your left, we'll still be here. Just made some coffee, we're good for a while. Welcome back! Wasn't that riveting? The blue paint sure is bright, eh? Well, now you must be wondering how that new 2019 Corolla stacks up with all the other hatchbacks. And, despite long thinking that hatchbacks were doomed, there are actually quite a lot of them these days. So many, in fact, that we couldn't fit them all in our space-limited comparison chart. So, with apologies to the Hyundai Elantra GT, Kia Forte and the dead-man-walking Ford Focus, these were the cars we chose based on sales and competitiveness: the Honda Civic Hatchback, Mazda3 5-Door, Volkswagen Golf, Chevrolet Cruze and Subaru Impreza. We also included the outgoing Corolla iM for reference. If you think we've left something of interest out, you can always create your own comparison. Performance and fuel economy There is but one king here, and its name is Civic. While the sedan and coupe come with a naturally aspirated 2.0-liter 158-horsepower four-cylinder that's less potent than the Corolla's, the hatchback comes standard with the 1.5-liter turbo that aces the segment in terms of both acceleration and fuel economy. The Golf's acceleration should be comparable, but as you can see, it trails on fuel economy (still not bad, though). The new Corolla ends up being better than the rest with its new 168-hp four-cylinder paired to novel transmissions: a six-speed manual with rev-matched downshifting (!) and a CVT that mimics the actions of a 10-speed automatic. The Corolla does weigh more than everything else, though, so that could hamper its acceleration. Fuel economy data also wasn't announced, but Toyota indicated it would be a bit better than the old Corolla iM. Something akin to the 2.0-liter Mazda 3's numbers seems likely. As for the Mazda, its top two trim levels actually come standard with its bigger engine. In any event, despite its ample power, testing has often showed that the Civic is still the quicker car from 0 to 60 mph. And finally, let's not leave out the two on the end. The Subaru is the only car in the segment that offers all-wheel drive (the Focus RS and Golf R don't count), but is also the segment weakling now that the Corolla iM has been discontinued.