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24 Hours of Le Mans live update part one

We tasked surfing journalist Rory Parker to watch this year's live stream of the 2016 24 Hours of Le Mans. What follows is an experiment to experience the world's greatest endurance race from the perspective of a motorsports novice with a profanity-laden stream-of-consciousness writing style. Parker lives in Hawaii and spends far more time spearfishing than behind the wheel of a car. Jump ahead to Part Two here, and Part Three here. Big Money and billionaire hobbyists and rockets on wheels. Jets belching French color smoke overhead. Balance of power fuckery. Plenty of water on the ground this morning. Absurdly expensive motorcars lined up in the pissing rain. Fast twitch lunatics behind the wheel. Chomping at the bit. Let's go let's go let's go! Race hasn't even started, Ford #67 maybe dealing with clutch issues. Karma? That beautiful bastard Brad Pitt's out on the track, waving the tricolor flag. It's a standing start in "Noah's Ark" weather and the 2016 24 hours of Le Mans is go! First lap takes place behind the safety car, finished in a record setting 8 minutes 27 seconds. Wrong kind of record maybe, but this is the first time I've set my mind to watching the whole damn race. Feel like I'm part of history. 3:00 AM on Kauai, a little too early for life. Sucking down coffee like a maniac. Don't fall back asleep. Got my hands on four hours of rest, how much more can I need? Better be enough for the next twenty four hours. Gonna get kinda punchy toward the end. Jason Statham on the scene. Four feet of solid muscle, non-existent hairline. Lovely wife peanut gallery sitting next to me calls him the "best race car drive in the world." Not sure if she's serious. Toss up, could go either way. Statham's a funny guy. Heir to the Bruce Willis comedy action crown. Really good in the movie where the fat comedy lady plays a spy. Ford's on the road. Problems with gearbox pressure, apparently. Nearing a half hour in and the safety car is still on the track. Hellish amounts of water on the ground, in the air. Visibility is garbage. Getting better. Twitter wags, "Not with a bang but a whimper." Just building suspense. Mother Nature felt like killing some people today, race officials need to dial back the drivers until it dries a tad. Normal inclination would've seen 'em flying, guaranteed early lap wrecks. Sad news for that bloodthirsty part of my lizard brain I try and keep suppressed. Good news for humanity. #12 in the pit for a bit.

Feds open investigation into Chevy Express, Ford Freestar rust issues

'Tis the season... for road salt. And with that, comes rust. And what does rust bring? Well, for Ford and General Motors, a National Highway Traffic Safety Administration investigation. According to The Detroit News, NHTSA is looking into potential recalls issues with Chevrolet Express vans and Ford Freestar minivans.
The feds have received five complaints that rust has caused leaking fuel filler pipes on 2003 Express vans. Separately, seven complaints have been filed over excessive rust in the rear wheel wells of 2004 Ford Freestar and Mercury Monterey minivans. The Freestar and Monterey went out of production in 2007. Neither issue has resulted in any crashes or injuries, according to the report.

Travis Kvapil tells Twitter his Sprint Cup car was stolen

There's a bizarre story coming out of Atlanta today, as NASCAR racer Travis Kvapil is reporting that his Sprint Cup Car was stolen from a lot at the Drury Inn in Morrow, GA. Kvapil announced the theft, which included the black pickup that was hauling the trailer and the #44 Chevrolet SS Sprint Cup Car – shown above, with driver JJ Yeley at the wheel – on Twitter. According to Kvapil, the car wasn't going to be ready for the Thursday test session at Atlanta Motor Speedway, although forecasts of snow forced the team to dispatch their main trailer and tools to the track ahead of the car, which left for Atlanta later yesterday. According to ESPN, police in Morrow have video of the "incident," which happened at 5:34 AM Friday, with police investigating it as as criminal in nature. "Sometimes what happens when thieves see trailers, they might just assume there's something in the trailer they can go off and sell," Sgt. Larry Oglesby, of the Morrow PD, told USA Today. "Sometimes when things like this occur, they will drop off the items in a parking lot somewhere – like a Walmart parking lot – once they realize what they have." "All we know is it was a silver jeep," team owner John Cohen told USA Today. "One guy got out and they pulled off together." Earlier, Cohen told ESPN that the theft will force the team out of this weekend's race at the Folds of Honor QuikTrip 500, at Atlanta Motor Speedway. Kvapil, meanwhile, has taken to Twitter to appeal to his followers to be on the lookout for the truck, trailer and race car. Here's hoping it turns up all together. Check out the driver's tweets, below. Wow. Anyone near Atlanta find my stolen Cup car let me know! Unreal - Travis Kvapil (@TravisKvapil) February 27, 2015 I bet when whoever has it, opens the trailer and is going to be like 'oh snap' - Travis Kvapil (@TravisKvapil) February 27, 2015 Ok, to clarify. @Teamxtreme44 transporter is @amsupdates. The guys stayed and worked on the car Thursday at the shop in NC. They drove.... - Travis Kvapil (@TravisKvapil) February 27, 2015 down last night in a Ford dually and enclosed trailer with racecar inside. That was stolen out of hotel parking lot this am in Morrow, GA - Travis Kvapil (@TravisKvapil) February 27, 2015 Black Ford dually, white enclosed tag behind trailer. New Jersey plates - Travis Kvapil (@TravisKvapil) February 27, 2015 Dang.... I'm wishing we had LoJack or something on it!