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What it's like to drive a brand-new, 92-year-old Bentley Blower

“Vivid” doesnÂ’t even begin to describe this; neither does “damn cold.” The throttle is pinned to the firewall, the needles behind the glass in the dashboardÂ’s 10 dials are twitching and dancing, the supercharger boost gauge is nailed to the lock stop, and the dark-green scuttle is shuddering with the ripples of the concrete banking. Think World War II airplane over the storm-tossed North Atlantic – I even slid a picture of my wife into my breast pocket this morning Â… IÂ’d be grinning, but the freezing blast over the leather-strapped bonnet gives me a rictus grimace. ThereÂ’s a lot to do in this 92-year-old supercharged Bentley as its fish-tail exhaust blares seal-honk indifference at a shoal of insignificant super cars fluttering in its wake; at 100 mph this is motoring at its zenith. They donÂ’t make ‘em like they used to and I used to think that was indubitably true of this car: Sir Henry ‘TimÂ’ BirkinÂ’s Blower Bentley. This was his favorite out of the five Blowers built at the Welwyn factory between 1929 and 1930. It was bankrolled by Dorothy Paget, the Whitney family heiress, and serial race-horse owner and gambler. How famous? This car, known as Number Two, was entered in the 1930 Le Mans 24-hour race. Birkin drove it like a bat out of hell in the initial stages of the race with the tacit approval of the Bentley factory, which had entered a team of "6 1/2 litre" naturally aspirated cars and was looking for its fourth-consecutive Le Mans victory and the marqueÂ’s fifth overall. They used Birkin and this lovely old machine as “the hare,” testing the potential and reliability of the astonishing Mercedes-Benz works supercharged, 7-liter SSK driven by Rudolf ‘RudiÂ’ Caracciola (ironically Paget also owned one of these rare and exotic beasts). The fast and courageous Birkin was sent out to poke a stick at the German ace – it was like poking a waspsÂ’ nest. Twice Birkin overtook Caracciola at over 120 mph at the end of the Mulsanne/Hunaudieres straight, with one wheel on the grass and the rear tire down to its canvas. By all accounts Caracciola was so startled simply because he couldnÂ’t believe that anyone would be actually overtaking him. Legend has it that in pursuing Birkin, Rudi Caracciola damaged the engine by over using the supercharger, which could be clutched in and out, but the truth is more nuanced. Birkin drove his car so hard he twice lost a tireÂ’s tread and had to pit early.

Behold my hideous Bentley!

Do you all just love my hideous Bentley? It's so insane and tacky. I'm sure if I were to actually order this a British lord somewhere would dispatch his valet to slap me.  Who knows where I'll figuratively be in two weeks' time, but today turns out to be the day I turned to see just how tacky certain car configurators will let you get. Admittedly, they're almost all high-dollar, extra-low-volume cars. If you try to play around on a Honda configurator, you'll have wrapped things up in about 30 seconds.  But Bentley, now that's a company that'll let you get tacky on its configurator. I chose the new Continental GT Convertible because the lowered roof would make it easy to demonstrate in pictures the level of my tackiness. From there, it was this eye-searing Apple Green, though I was certainly tempted by Azure Purple and Magenta. Roof choice? I was expecting there to be more, nevertheless, Claret red seemed like a suitably awful pairing.  Inside, well, let's crack those knuckles and get to work. Luckily, Bentley lets you choose two different leather colors: Main and Secondary "hides" with five choices of how to split those colors. Sorry, colours. I chose Colour Split B cause it seemed to have the most of each colour. For the Main Hide, I went with Hotspur, an extremely red shade of red that would be home in an early 2000s BMW. Cumbrian Green and Damson purple were tempting, but they just weren't bright enough, and I thought they wouldn't pair poorly enough with the Secondary Hide: Newmarket Tan, which is pretty damn orange. You can't see it, but the interior of the roof is Blue. For the veneer, I went with Tamo Ash, 'cause yuck. Finally, throw on some black wheels, and voila, my tacky Bentley. I must say, this is most definitely tackier than the real Bentley Flying Spur I once tested that looked like South Beach threw up inside. So much white and teal. Oh, and that ash wood. A Bentley rep told me they ordered it by mistake.  Now, Bentley isn't the only high-dollar outfit that lets you indulge in such tacky fantasies. Most other British brands do, including Mini, and the Germans offer plenty of color choices as well, usually through some special custom program like Audi Exclusive. Porsche makes it especially easy, though, which you can see in my other craptacular creation below.

Bentley putting Mulsanne-based Azure, Brooklands back on the table [w/poll]

Big plans are afoot at Bentley. The quintessentially British automaker has just about signed off on the final version of its new SUV, and will surely roll out more versions of the Continental in the coming years, but that's not all. It's said to be considering a new sports coupe smaller than the Continental GT, but the latest reports coming in from the UK suggest that it also has plans for the Mulsanne's platform.
Currently, the Mulsanne is only available in one configuration, but Bentley is widely expected to be bringing a new, more powerful Mulsanne Speed to the Paris Motor Show this fall with around 550 horsepower. That's not all, however, as word comes in that the Flying B marque is planning to re-introduce both the Azure and the Brooklands as competitors to the Rolls-Royce Phantom DHC and Phantom Coupe, respectively.
For those who don't remember, the Azure and Brooklands were a pair of two-doors based on the Arnage that preceded the Mulsanne at the top of Bentley's range. The Azure was a convertible and the Brooklands a fixed-roof coupe, both of them larger than the Continental GT and powered by the company's evergreen (yet decidedly un-green) 6.75-liter V8.