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Automotive April Fools' joke roundup [w/videos]

Happy April, everyone. And we all know what this first day of the month means: April Fools' Day. Today is a national holiday for pranksters with the Internet acting as a serious enabler, and it's always fun to see what kind of vivid imaginations exist out there in the automotive world. The abundance of fake news gets a little old as the day rolls on, but we did manage to get in a few chuckles thanks to a handful of major automakers and automotive news outlets that got into the pranking spirit this year
Some of our favorites this year includes Subaru showing what happens when you combine a bunch of rumors, a Corvette some may have already thought was a joke or Honda providing some in-car innovation circa the late 1980s. Honestly, we're still waiting for official confirmation from Mitsubishi that the recently introduced 2014 Mirage is an elaborate April Fools' joke using a failed design intended for the 1995 Geo Metro. We dug up as much "official" OEM foolishness we could find, as well as some of our other favorites, and posted them all below.

BMW says current M3 sold out, no new AWD M models planned

Car and Driver asked the head of BMW M, Friedrich Nitschke, a few questions about what the go-fast division had in mind for the future, and was rewarded with some enlightening answers. The best news to purist ears is that Nitschke said customers don't want all-wheel drive on their M cars, so it's the rear wheels alone that will propel new product into the future. If you want both an M badge and four driven wheels, it's the X5 M, X6 M and M Performance models you're looking for in the catalog.
"Mixed bag" is the phrase you're looking for regarding the other answers. Nitschke said that future M engines "at the core of their architecture" would "be closer to BMW AG engines" that are optimized for M cars, instead of following in the line of unique marvels like the V10 and naturally aspirated V8. They will keep the high redlines, however, with Nitschke saying "there is room beyond" the 7,000 rpm mark in BMW's current V8 turbos.
Managing weight will keep the same priority for M that it is for every other brand, so electrically assisted power steering is coming, as is an "unconventional" materials mix. At the smaller end of the M scale, Nitschke described three-cylinder engines as "attractive," saying that the brand can produce more than 310 horsepower from a three-pot.

Cafe racer motorbikes storm Japan

Japan may be best known, at least among motorcycle enthusiasts, for its sport bikes. But as we found at the Tokyo Motor Show this year, Japanese motorcycle manufacturers are capable of producing all kinds of motorbikes. And to our delight, that includes cafe racers.
Along with the myriad electric bikes, dirt bikes, crotch rockets and scooters, the halls of Tokyo's Big Site convention center this year were full of the retro-infused rides we love. Chief among them was the Bolt (shown above) which Yamaha exhibited alongside their various electric two-wheelers, sporting a delicious metallic blue paintjob, inverted handlebars and hanging mirrors, machined metal bits, blacked-out trim and saddle brown leatherwork.
Honda was also on hand with a new EX version of its '70s-style CB1100 retro roadster in sinister and low-key matte black. And this was our first chance to check out BMW Motorrad's new birthday present to its 90-year-old self, the R NineT, a model recently unveiled at the EICMA motorcycle show in Milan. But one of the most amusing retro rides we came across was the Honda Monkey Limited, a mini bike that makes the new 125cc Grom (which was displayed alongside it) look positively gigantic.