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24 Hours of Le Mans live update part one

We tasked surfing journalist Rory Parker to watch this year's live stream of the 2016 24 Hours of Le Mans. What follows is an experiment to experience the world's greatest endurance race from the perspective of a motorsports novice with a profanity-laden stream-of-consciousness writing style. Parker lives in Hawaii and spends far more time spearfishing than behind the wheel of a car. Jump ahead to Part Two here, and Part Three here. Big Money and billionaire hobbyists and rockets on wheels. Jets belching French color smoke overhead. Balance of power fuckery. Plenty of water on the ground this morning. Absurdly expensive motorcars lined up in the pissing rain. Fast twitch lunatics behind the wheel. Chomping at the bit. Let's go let's go let's go! Race hasn't even started, Ford #67 maybe dealing with clutch issues. Karma? That beautiful bastard Brad Pitt's out on the track, waving the tricolor flag. It's a standing start in "Noah's Ark" weather and the 2016 24 hours of Le Mans is go! First lap takes place behind the safety car, finished in a record setting 8 minutes 27 seconds. Wrong kind of record maybe, but this is the first time I've set my mind to watching the whole damn race. Feel like I'm part of history. 3:00 AM on Kauai, a little too early for life. Sucking down coffee like a maniac. Don't fall back asleep. Got my hands on four hours of rest, how much more can I need? Better be enough for the next twenty four hours. Gonna get kinda punchy toward the end. Jason Statham on the scene. Four feet of solid muscle, non-existent hairline. Lovely wife peanut gallery sitting next to me calls him the "best race car drive in the world." Not sure if she's serious. Toss up, could go either way. Statham's a funny guy. Heir to the Bruce Willis comedy action crown. Really good in the movie where the fat comedy lady plays a spy. Ford's on the road. Problems with gearbox pressure, apparently. Nearing a half hour in and the safety car is still on the track. Hellish amounts of water on the ground, in the air. Visibility is garbage. Getting better. Twitter wags, "Not with a bang but a whimper." Just building suspense. Mother Nature felt like killing some people today, race officials need to dial back the drivers until it dries a tad. Normal inclination would've seen 'em flying, guaranteed early lap wrecks. Sad news for that bloodthirsty part of my lizard brain I try and keep suppressed. Good news for humanity. #12 in the pit for a bit.

Audi chooses A3 as its Super Bowl darling

With Super Bowl XLVIII less than two months away, we're sure to hear plenty of news about automakers and their various plans for in-game commercials. Audi has announced that it will return for its seventh year of Super Bowl advertising, but few details were provided about the spot other than the fact that it will focus on the all-new 2015 A3.
The 60-second ad will air during the third quarter of the game, and while Audi did not say how much it is spending on the spot, Ad Age says that a 30-second commercial will average around $4 million for next year's Big Game. Last year, Audi's choose-your-own-adventure "Prom" commercial was the second favorite video in our unofficial poll of readers, but the competition should heat up even more this year with General Motors returning to Super Bowl advertising after taking a year off and Jaguar preparing its first-ever Super Bowl ad to introduce the F-Type Coupe.

The real reason Audi races

The world has watched Audi have its way with endurance racing since 1998. What started as an intriguing race winner in 2000 that could be rebuilt so quickly that the ACO oversight organization changed the rules to slow Audi mechanics down, slowly morphed into a unique assassin, employing novel engineering methods to achieve series domination with its R18 E-Tron Quattro. Until recently. It's strange, then, that for all these years we didn't fully comprehend Audi's stated approach to motorsport. And so we sat down with Dr. Wolfgang Ulrich, head of Audi Motorsport, and Chris Reinke, head of Le Mans Prototype development while in Austin, TX, for the Lone Star Le Mans and World Endurance Championship race for answers. BMW, Corvette, Porsche, and Ferrari have healthy reputations, lucrative option sheets, and supported a robust trade in special editions by winning races. They have standalone racing divisions and they transfer the entire sheen of their racing endeavors to their road cars, a healthy part of what their customers buy into. Even though we know they improve their road cars with lessons learned racing, the belief is that they race because that's just what they do; those brand names mean racing. "Not one single euro is spent on a separate motorsports program." Yet Reinke said that for Audi, "Not one single euro is spent on a separate motorsports program. We [Audi Motorsport] are part of the Technical Department [of the road car company]. We are a pre-development lab for road-relevant technology." As in, Audi isn't racing out of core philosophy, it's racing only to improve its road cars. That helps explain why Audi's entire road car lineup doesn't bask in the same racing aura as those other brands even though Audi has been racing since it was called Horch. It's not a racing brand, it's a technology brand. Said Ulrich, "Instead of components, look at technologies – not lights, but lighting technologies, not engines, but engine technologies, like injection pressure technology is the same from the race car to the road car." That's nowhere near as exciting as, "Win on Sunday, sell on Monday," but it is arguably much more practical. Quattro is the most obvious example of racing tech for the street. For a less obvious one, Reinke said, "Audi Motorsport developed codes for computational fluid dynamics, and then we'd run the calculations on the Technical Department computers at night.