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VIDEO: Saturn's demise? We blame Jim Gaffigan*

Click above to view the video after the jump
When the deal to sell Saturn to Penske Automotive fell through, there were likely a lot of surprised people at General Motors' Detroit, MI headquarters. Penske released a statement saying that the reason the deal fell through after months of good faith negotiations was that a suitable post-GM supply of vehicles could not be found. However, after reacquainting ourselves with over eight minutes of outtakes from Jim Gaffigan's old Saturn commercial, we're thinking the comedic pitchman is to blame.

Report: Saturn owners offered $2,000 to stick with GM products

After its decision to euthanize Oldsmobile, General Motors knows exactly what happens when it mothballs one of its brands: GM loses market share to the competition. The General is trying to stop history from repeating itself with Saturn customers by offering $2,000 on the hood of every car and crossover donning the ringed planet badge. Automotive News says the offer actually started on February 2 and runs until the end of March. To be eligible for the $2,000 bounty Saturn owners must have leased or purchased their Saturn at least six months ago. Interestingly, those owners don't even have to turn in their Saturn to be eligible for the cash.
AN reports that research company R.L. Polk says even before Saturn went on the endangered species list, it lagged other GM nameplates in the all-important aspect of customer retention. The mass exodus from Saturn loyalty predictably intensified at the end of 2008 as customers became anxious over the future of the brand. For its part, GM insists that all Saturn warranties will be upheld and customers looking for service can still go to a GMC, Chevy, Buick or Cadillac dealership.
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GM recalling another 2.7 million vehicles in five separate campaigns

The recalls keep rolling in from General Motors, evidently keen to avoid repeating the mistakes of the ignition-switch debacle and clean house. This time they're all coming at once, with five separate recalls announced together covering approximately 2.7 million vehicles.
The largest of the five actions involves over 2.4 million units of the previous-generation Chevrolet Malibu and Malibu Maxx, Pontiac G6 and Saturn Aura in order to fix brake light wiring harness, which have been found to be susceptible to corrosion. The recall is separate from the 56k Aura sedans which GM recently recalled over faulty shift cables, not to mention the previous massive recall of 1.3 million vehicles - some of them the same models - but appears to have resulted from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration investigation that started with the G6 almost a year ago.
The second-largest campaign involves the 2014 Chevy Malibu, specifically those fitted with GM's 2.5-liter engine and stop/start system, approximately 140,000 examples of which has been found to have problematic brakes. The issue does not appear to be connected to the recall of 8k Malibu and Buick LaCrosse sedans (also involving brake woes) which we reported upon last week. Four crashes have been reported in such models, but GM admits it's not yet clear if the problem was a contributing factor in the accidents.