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Race Recap: 2013 Italian Grand Prix is mistakes, gremlins and metronomes [spoilers]

The low-downforce, 5.793-kilometer circuit in Monza, Italy is known as the Temple of Speed, but only a few of the qualifying performances would have clued you into it. Sebastian Vettel and Mark Webber in the Infiniti Red Bull Racing chassis' lined up first and second, and it didn't seem like Vettel had to work too hard to do so. Nico Hülkenberg truly lived up to his nickname, The Hulk, and put his Sauber third on the grid, a massive drive and turn-of-speed that even he didn't expect, especially with his teammate Esteban Gutiérrez down in 13th.
The rest of the top ten was what you might expect. Shenanigans at Ferrari ended up with Felipe Massa out-qualifying Fernando Alonso for fourth and fifth, a situation that led to Alonso calling his team either "stupid" or "genius," depending on how you translate his Italian, his sarcasm and his honesty. They were followed by Nico Rosberg in the Mercedes-AMG Petronas, the soon-to-be Infiniti Red Bull driver Daniel Ricciardo in the Toro Rosso, the McLaren duo of Sergio Perez and Jenson Button and the second Toro Rosso of Jean-Eric Vergne.
Why wasn't Kimi Räikkönen at Lotus in that group? Because his car only had the pace to make 11th on the grid, so he said. And behind him, Lewis Hamilton - who "drove like an idiot," in his words - in the second Mercedes.

Driver, track worker survive horrific Ferrari 458 crash at Suzuka

Two people are lucky to be alive after a brutal crash during a recent Ferrari 458 Challenge event in Japan. Driver Shigeru Terajima lost control of his machine on the Suzuka Circuit start/finish straight, left the course at nearly 200 miles per hour and struck the inside wall where a corner worker was standing and monitoring the race. The 458 immediately disintegrated, sending bits of carbon fiber bodywork, suspension components, wheels and tires scattering into the infield and across the race course. The passenger cell spun through the air before coming to a stop on its roof.
Miraculously, both Terajima and the corner worker survived the incident. While the driver was transported to a local hospital in serious condition, he's expected to make a full recovery. The track worker, meanwhile, saw the incident coming and dove out of harm's way at the last possible moment, saving him from the brunt of the impact. You can watch an observer's frightening footage of the Ferrari crash by scrolling below.

'Ring Queen Sabine Schmitz battles Ron Simons in Porsche vs Ferrari scrap

We hope you have seven minutes to kill. RSR Nürburgring recently took the time to pit Sabine Schmitz and her slightly modified Porsche 911 GT3 RS against Ron Simons and his Ferrari 458 Italia in a sparring match around the infamous Green Hell. The clip begins with the two drivers engaging in a smidgeon of smack talk before the two get down to the business of beating each other's doors off around one of the most challenging courses in the world. Simons calls his car superior to Schmitz's 911, while Schmitz says she's up against nothing more than a Fiat driven by an old Dutch man.
Don't hold any punches, you two.
We won't spoil the finale for you, but we will say the tango is worth watching. At the end, the loser calls for a rematch. We can't wait to see that throwdown. Check out the clip below for yourself.