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The Homer to contest 24 Hours of LeMons

It's finally happened. A 24 Hours of LeMons team has built the definitive interpretation of The Homer from The Simpsons for competition in an upcoming race. As you may recollect, The Homer is the fictional car designed by Homer Simpson for his brother's car company. Designed with a separate compartment for screaming children and other Homer-centric goodies, the animated machine bankrupted its parent company and put Homer's brother out of a job. Now we get to watch it race other crap cans as it tackles Southern California's Buttonwillow Raceway on June 29. Scott Chamberlain, Kris Linquist, Reid Conti, Ben Reilly and Mike Yepes will helm the machine, and Jeff Herman serves as the team's creative director.
The racer is the latest incarnation of a well-abused BMW 3 Series. The team campaigned the same E30 under the "Prickstine" banner as a Chrysler Imperial tribute and "Porcubimmer," the latter being a riff on the ever-popular joke about the difference between porcupines and BMW models. Never gets old. You can check out a video of the finished Homer below, and be sure to like the team on Facebook to see updates from the race. Now, about that Canyonero...

BMW won't build M4 Gran Coupe

Over the last few years, it feels like BMW has looked at its lineup and decided to offer a vehicle in every possible segment that it can find, no matter how small. The company is finally showing some restraint, though, at least when it comes to the high performance M division. For example, don't expect to see an M4 Gran Coupe at your local BMW dealer in the future.
M GmbH sales chief Jörg Bartels told Cars Guide in Australia, "It was definitely considered, but there is no plan to build an M4 Gran Coupe." The sport sedan just wouldn't make financial sense, he said. BMW already builds the M3 and M4 at separate factories, adding a third for such a niche model would be too much. Plus, the M3 already fills out the segment.
If you wanted an M model with a bit more storage space in the back, Bartels dashed those dreams, as well. He said that there isn't an M3 Gran Turismo hatchback in the pipeline, either.

Alpina B3 Bi-Turbo offers Europeans a pre-M3 performance 3er

Anyone that's spent some time behind the wheel of the Alpina B7 probably knows enough to understand what Americans are missing with this, newly launched Alpina B3 Bi-Turbo. We've got no lack of M models to choose from, it's true, but the Alpina touch offers a completely different driving character, with almost as much performance. A pity then that Alpina has no plans that we've heard of to bring this one across the pond.
Filling the gap between the current 3 Series offerings and the outgoing M3 (we're not likely to even see the new M3 and M4 until September's Frankfurt show, nor be able to buy one until after that), the B3 Bi-Turbo brings serious performance to the F30 3er. As the name indicates, two turbochargers are used to force-feed BMW's 3.0-liter inline-six engine, for a total output of 410 horsepower and 442 pound-feet of torque. That power offers a big jump from even the BMW 335i sedan, and will push the B3 to 62 miles per hour in just 4.2 seconds and on to a top speed of 190 miles per hour. Alpina's own sport suspension underpins the thing, while the power is modulated by way of a eight-speed automatic transmission.
The new B3 will be easily recognizable thanks to its "Classic" 20-inch, 20-spoke Alpina wheels, and a rather subtle, aero-enhancing body kit. No pricing has yet been announced, but you will find a host of additional information in the attached Alpina press release below.